


forget me not

by sympa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Drama, Eventual Romance, Flowers, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sympa/pseuds/sympa
Summary: mark steals flowers from the local flower shop, but doesn't expect for his heart to be stolen by the tall boy with the deep voice that works behind the cash register instead





	1. introductions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dunkshots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunkshots/gifts).



> wow!!! my first chaptered fic in almost 2 years. enjoy!
> 
> (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST FRIEND MAYA, THIS IS FOR YOU)

Mark shoved his hands in his pocket, trying to act as natural as he could muster before taking one out to reach for the door handle, swinging the door open and entering the small shop. The inside of the flower shop smelled of light perfume and a bit of citrus, but that was normal. Each week he entered it would always smell the same. It was a pleasant feeling, the warmth of the sunlight seeping through the glass windows on his skin, the cool summer breeze that tossed his hair once he excited the shop. Yes, it was all quite nice.

Perhaps the young boy would’ve had a clearer conscious if it wasn’t for the fact that he was intending on stealing flowers from the shop. But when did he ever have a conscious in the first place? After all, he had been doing such crimes for the past few months. By now, he knew the store owner by name (a delightful old woman from Hong Kong), but he still couldn’t shake off the strange addiction he had. It was a blessing and a curse, it seemed.

Hearing the small jingle of the bell that signified when a customer entered the shop, Mark was surprised that no one had called out from the back storeroom to greet him. From the past few weeks, a store worker or another one of the regulars would come to greet Mark, chatting to him about the weather or offering to explain the significance of the edelweiss flower. Of course, Mark would decline, but he still grinned from ear to ear when they suggested it to him.

Strolling through the empty store, Mark leaned down in one of the aisles to pick up a nice, pre-arranged bouquet of white tiger lilies and other similarly coloured flowers. With a solemn smile, Mark picked it up. If he thought hard enough, he could still envision what his mother had looked like on her wedding day, a blossoming bouquet of the same flowers held in her hand as she was congratulated by her many friends on her marriage. Setting the flowers back into the case where they were being held, Mark shook his head. No- his mother would like to see these flowers. Though he knew she would always disapprove of his stealing, he had been doing it for too long. It didn’t matter what she thought. She deserved it.

Grasping the bouquet and quickly making a break for it, Mark headed towards the door, sure that no one was in the shop at that moment as he hadn’t spotted anyone near the register or in any of the aisles. But, as luck would have it, that wasn’t the case.

“Hey, you! Where are you going?” The deep voice of the mysterious boy that was settled behind the cash register traveled out of Mark’s ears, his hands trembling so hard that he almost dropped the flowers. Turning his head around slowly, Mark took the time to examine the assumed employee. The boy was tall, his height taller than Mark who had always considered himself abnormally tall in Canada. Staring at him strangely, the boy continued. “Are you going to pay for those…?” He said in slightly broken Korean, trying his best to look demanding.

“Oh. Uh…” Mark mumbled, fumbling with his jean pockets in attempts to look like he was searching for his ‘wallet’. “Yeah. Just a second, I think I left my money on my bike. Let me go get it.” He murmured, waving a bit to the boy before heading out the door, bouquet in hand. Yet, it seemed like the mystery boy was smarter than what he had let on. Jumping up from his chair, the boy grabbed the keys on his desk, knocking over a chair in the process before running out the door and locking it behind him.

“Wait! Th-thief!” The boy stuttered over the word, trying his best to properly annunciate the word without it sounding like another. “ _Pukgai_. What are you even doing!” He cursed under his breath, angrily shouting out the clumsy Korean words as Mark peddled away. “What a liar.” The boy groaned before hanging his head as he headed back inside.

Glad that the whole ordeal was finally over, Mark took a quick sigh of relief, though a bit disappointed that a few of the flowers had been partially crushed while he had ran to his bike and quickly peddled down the street. The graveyard was only a few minutes away from the flower shop, so it wouldn’t take long for Mark to finally reach the destination. He hoped his parents were doing well, wherever they were.

Skidding to a stop on his bike, Mark guided the clunky and old piece of metal to the graveyard’s enclosure, leaning it on the metal fence. Tightening his grip on the bouquet, he pushed open the gate that led into the graveyard, taking a deep breath as he felt tears start to well up in his eyes. Ah, this always happened. Each week that he came to the silent place, there would always be some tears shed. He had promised his parents before they had passed that he would become stronger and not cry as much, but it seemed that he had yet to reach such a goal.

Taking his time to walk past the many tombstones that littered the field, Mark came to a stop and kneeled down, placing the bouquet gently at the foot of a large tombstone. Engraved in it were portraits of his mother and father, both smiling like they always did. Willing himself not to cry, Mark bit at the inside of his cheek, the pain working to no avail as tears had already been shed. He missed his parents.

Whispering a small prayer, Mark leapt back on his bike, intent on arriving back to his grandmother’s home before she would notice that Mark wasn’t actually studying for the next Chemistry test on Friday, but rather visiting his parents again, even after she had told him not to. Absentmindedly, Mark closed his eyes for a few seconds to feel the wind move through the gaps in his hands, the crevasses in between his fingers. Forgetting that he was actually on a busy street and would be driving close to the flower shop again, Mark suddenly opened his eyes, shrieking as he almost crashed into a lamp pole, thankfully steering his bike out of the way but hitting his knee onto the metal.

Biting his tongue down as he cursed, Mark took a quick glance as to where he was now. It seemed that he had thankfully landed near the sidewalk where most of the small shops on the street were located, so he didn’t have to worry about getting run over. Looking up from the spot where he sat, all the blood in Mark’s face seemed to drown. Oh, he was in front of the flower shop.

Taking a deep breath and staring into the shop’s window, Mark wasn’t surprised to see the same boy from a few hours before staring right back at him. Scrambling to get up on his feet but wincing as he felt an acute flash of pain travel up his leg, Mark sat back down as the mystery boy mouthed something from inside the shop and ran towards the door. It only took a few seconds before the boy had grabbed Mark up by his collar, somehow propping Mark up so he was now standing (but still held on tightly to his shirt collar).

“It’s you.” The mystery boy stated, taking a good look at Mark who seemed a bit disoriented. “Without the flowers… What a shame.” He mumbled to himself, looking around to see if Mark had dropped the flowers anywhere but was disappointed to only see his bike. “Your crimes better have been worth it. Whatever girl you were trying to give them to better have been happy.” Mystery boy huffed, rolling his eyes. “Now, to tell my mom that you were the one who has been stealing all the flowers! She’s been badgering me for weeks. You don’t understand how severe she gets over stupid flowers…” The boy shuddered, probably imagining not so good memories.

“No- wait! I can explain, please. Don’t tell your mother, I think she’s really cool and I don’t want her to think I’m some kind of petty thief.” Mark pleaded, even though he really was just a petty thief. “I’ll… I’ll show you what I use them for. Please.” Mark knew that if he was taken in, he would have to compensate for all the flowers he had stolen. Too bad that he was poor, living on welfare, and had already lost count of the amount of bouquets and single stems he had stolen over the course of the few months he had begun stealing.

Giving the proposal a few thoughts of consideration, the mystery boy shrugged. “Why not. She better be pretty though. I’d hate to see my mom’s handiwork go to waste.” The boy said, the word ‘waste’ accented so that the last syllable seemed to linger on the tip of his tongue. Mark liked the boy’s accent. It reminded him of his first time in Korea.

Sighing with defeat, Mark held the leg which he had accidentally slammed into the pole. Limping to his bicycle, he gestured for the boy to sit on the back. “Come on. We don’t have all day.” Mark commented, pushing back thoughts of his grandmother screaming at him yet again into the back of his mind. Slowly but surely, the boy hopped onto the back of the bicycle, uncomfortably squirming around before finding a comfortable place to place his legs. “Wait, I don’t even know your name. What is it?” Mark questioned, thinking that if he made friends with the boy, perhaps he would let him off a bit easier.

“Hah! Why should I tell you? Now hurry up and peddle, Mark.” The boy snickered, his throat catching on the ‘r’ sound in his name. “My mom talks about you a lot, you know. Too bad you’re just a stupid thief.” Mystery boy threw out, the tips of Mark’s ears starting to redden. “It’s Yukhei. I would be surprised if a Korean like you could pronounce it though. People at school just call me Lucas. Please don’t call me that.”

Without missing a beat, Mark began to peddle in the wrong direction. “Yeah, okay, _Lucas_. Whatever you say.”  And with those words, it seemed like the start of a new relationship had begun to bloom.


	2. real introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark misses his parents. mark does not miss his friends. or yukhei.

“I knew I couldn’t trust you!” Yukhei screamed at Mark, who had just ditched the boy on the side of the street a few miles away from the flower shop, pedaling at a speed he had never gone before so that the other could not catch up with him. “If I knew how to curse in Korean I would!” Another scream could be heard, Mark snickering all the while his feet kept on pushing down on the pedals. It seemed quite rude and irrational that Mark would do this. After all, he was raised to be kind and courageous and this was anything but that, along with the fact that he was probably jeopardizing his entire relationship with the owner of the flower shop. Yet, something in Mark’s mind seemed to bug him, telling him that it was alright. For he was a teenager- so why couldn’t he have any fun?

Not taking a second to slow down, Mark arrived at the small house that he was ashamed to call his home. After his parents’ untimely death, he had been taken into custody by his grandmother in Korea, moving from his loving home in Vancouver to the sad, crumbling house along an ancient street outside of Seoul. With both of his fathers’ parents dead and his maternal grandfather too, it only seemed natural that the court rule that he would live in Korea with his grandmother. Before those fateful days, Mark had never even seen his grandmother, much less remember where she lived. Yes, he spoke Korean, but her accent was undistinguishable and it took many repeats to understand what she was trying to tell him to do. By now, after having lived in Korea for a few months, he found it a bit easier to tell whether she was mad at him for being late or just being alive in general.

Parking his bike gently on the side of the house, Mark took a deep breath. With the first few steps he took inside the house, he knew a variety of taunts and screams would follow him everywhere. He was late, and it was painfully obvious this time.

Bracing himself for what was to come, the dreaded silence of his grandmother realising he had entered the room rushed past Mark like a brief breeze before she began to shout. “Lee Minhyung! Where in the hell were you? I can’t believe you would lie to me like that, saying you went to the library. You’re an absolute disgrace, you know that? Education is the most important thing that anyone could have, or can your thick skull not understand that? You bratty child, I knew your parents spoiled you too much in Canada. You’re sleeping in the basement tonight.” And with those words, she left the room, leaving Mark by himself standing in the doorway, his book bag still held close to his chest.

Whispering a small ‘of course’ to no one in particular, Mark quietly walked up the steps to his own attic bedroom, taking a few of his blankets to move to the basement. The basement room was no better than his attic but was subject to high temperature fluctuations due to there being no air conditioning in the bottom level. He had been there a few times, especially when he had first arrived in Korea. It was his form of punishment, the first few times not being able to be let out until he had stopped sobbing and his grandmother was in a somewhat alright mood.

As he hauled a few more blankets down to the steps along with a pillow, Mark could feel his stomach growl a bit. He regretted not stopping at the local convenience store to pick up a pastry or two to serve as his dinner. It was expected that his grandmother wouldn’t have cooked for him, nor have the ingredients to make anything that would satisfy his hunger for himself. Rolling his eyes at the thought of self-pity, Mark threw the blankets onto the antique couch, waiting until he could hear his grandmother’s heavy footsteps walk up to the basement door and the small sound of a lock being shoved into the keyhole and turned disappeared. On days like these, his grandmother would turn off the electricity linked to the basement, so there really was nothing Mark could do.

Deciding that it would be better if he stayed up all night as he would rather not get hypothermia and freeze to death (literally) in a crumbling basement, Mark dug under the cushions of the couch to pull out the old flip phone he had used back in Canada, smiling as the screen turned a dull white, a small display of words appearing on the screen after a few seconds had passed. Using the arrow buttons, Mark selected the text option, opening the contact that revealed the name “Mom”. Though Mark had no service and hadn’t for a few months, he still typed.

[ **22:04:26** ]

[ **to: Mom** ]

hey mom!! i hope you’re doing alright right now. my day was alright, if you don’t mind the fact that i totally abandoned this guy that i just met and who i’m 99% sure is miss huang’s son. he seemed really mad and his accent was quite strong but i was just like that at one point! i’m so glad you and dad decided to teach me korean when i was a kid, thank you so much!! student council is doing alright too, even though chenle and jisung always cause trouble that the headmaster always wants to blame me for :( it’s not my fault that they’re super irresponsible assistants that won’t get work done! but i guess it is partially my fault. i’m student council president after all. how about your day? i hope it was a good day for you too. say hello to dad for me and tell him everything i told you! i love you guys, and i cant wait to see you again soon.

With his fingers trembling and his hand hovering over the send button, Mark closed his eyes and pushed the button, only to be met with an error message as soon as he opened his eyes. Agreeing that there was no use in trying anymore, Mark dug into his backpack to find the biology textbook his teacher had handed out that morning. Feeling around his coat pocket, Mark also fished out a box of matches, striking a match multiple times before getting it to light and then lighting a nearby candle, holding it close up to the textbook so that he could analyze what the text had to say.

**…**

Mark was still awake by the time his alarm clock buzzed for his daily warning that it was now 6 AM, and that school would be starting soon. Quietly opening the door that his grandmother had so graciously unlocked a few minutes before, Mark headed towards the downstairs bathroom to get ready. Still wearing his school uniform from yesterday, he decided that only changing his jacket would suffice for the day, patting his hair down and running back down the basement to grab his bag. Saying a small farewell to his grandmother (he was not mannerless), Mark headed down the street, reciting the notes he had taken mentally from the night before about Darwin’s theory of evolution. It was all quite fascinating, in Mark’s opinion.

Kicking a small pebble that had sprung loose from the pavement, Mark found himself sitting alone at the bus stop, waiting for the vehicle to come so that he could get to school. Taking the time to admire the tops of the trees blowing in the wind, Mark didn’t seem to notice the person who had taken a seat next to him, gawking as if the other had seen something incredibly scandalous. Spotting something from his peripheral vision, Mark turned his head and almost jumped as he was scared to see Yukhei sitting right next to him, a roughed-up back pack on his lap along with a few papers poking out from its pockets.

Taking a few deep breaths, Mark forwarded his attention to the now approaching bus, gathering his items and standing up so that he could enter the bus first and sit in the very back as to not socialise with the boy. It seemed that Yukhei was also thinking the same thing, as he followed Mark onto the bus, sitting in the very front while Mark sat in the back. Taking his mind off the unexpected visitor, Mark refocused back on the scenery of the small town, smiling a bit at the thought of his parents living here when they were young too. There were so many memories that they had shared with him, it almost seemed as if they were there to tell them too.

In only a matter of minutes, the bus stopped near the school, Mark scrambling to collect his belongings and head out of the bus, speed walking towards the school building as to not even take a glance at Yukhei. A few seconds later, Mark found himself in the student council office, panting.

“Ah, fuck- Jaemin,” A voice came from the back of the office, the identity of the speaker masked by the fortunately placed wall. “I think Mark just came in, shit.” A few sounds of scrambling and shuffling of papers followed, Mark puzzlingly standing near the doorway. After a period of silence had passed, Na Jaemin, the student council’s secretary, and Huang Renjun, the vice president walked out, Renjun’s hair a bit disheveled and Jaemin’s face flushed.

“My God,” Mark groaned at the sight of them, putting a hand to his face. “Can’t you guys get a fucking room? I suddenly regret endorsing you both for the council. We don’t even get any work done anymore.” Walking to his own desk that was situated near the center of the room, Mark slammed his bag down, slumping back into his chair that had been a gift to replace his old, moth-eaten one from Jeno.

Jaemin walked over to his table, shrugging. “Sorry. We just assumed this would be the only room in the building where no one would enter. Guess not.” Opening Mark’s backpack, Jaemin stared at the contents in disgust. “This is horrific. Why do you have so many textbooks?” Mark opened his mouth to retort, a finger raised in the air until Jaemin stopped him. “The question was rhetoric. Don’t embarrass yourself by giving me an opinion.”

Rolling his eyes, Mark gave another long sigh. “Where’s Chenle and Jisung? They should be here by now. I know Jeno is off for family reasons but that’s it. I swear this entire council is just dysfunctional.”

Renjun had already gotten to work near Mark’s desk, opening a cabinet to look for a certain file. Ignoring Mark’s question, Renjun looked up. “Hey, why were you so early today anyways? You usually stop by your own homeroom first. Did those girls annoy you again? I’m so sorry about that, Mark.” Though his tone seemed to be genuine, Mark could tell that there was little to no sympathy in Renjun’s intentions. “Oh, also, we have a new foreign exchange student coming today. The principal asked me to show him around since he’s from China, but my schedule doesn’t match up with his. Since you’re both in senior year, Mark, could you do it for me? Please?” Renjun pleaded, slamming a file onto Mark’s desk.

Staring at the manila folder in front of him, the Canadian boy leaned even further back into his chair. “Yeah. Whatever, I’ll do it. Just don’t do that with Jaemin ever again.” Smiling, Renjun gave Mark a swift kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, you’re the best!” Staring in disgust, Mark watched Renjun leave the office, Jaemin trailing behind him. Picking up the folder, Mark took out the first document inside. Skipping over the names and probably important information, Mark’s eyes focused on the origin of the student. China, Renjun said? The file stated Hong Kong. Whatever, Mark would figure out in due time. Standing up and gathering his items, Mark strode out the office doors, heading towards the main office to welcome the said new student.

“Lee Minhyung! There you are. Renjun told me that you’d be taking over for him. I’d like you to meet Huang Xuxi, our new foreign exchange student from China.” The school’s president smiled, gesturing towards Yukhei, who seemed to be staring at the wall rather than at Mark.

“It’s Hong Kong, actually,” Yukhei commented, finally staring back at Mark. “But thank you. I’m sorry my Korean… is not good.” Yukhei took the time to pronounce the last few words, pausing for a moment as if he was reconsidering his choice in vocabulary. “Thank you for taking the time to show me around, Minhyung.” Yukhei said, an obvious taunt at Mark’s name.

All the while, Mark was turning pale. Of course, it was Yukhei. How hadn’t he realised?

“Of course, _Lucas_! I can’t wait to show you around the school. It’s quite nice here. You’ll enjoy it.” Mark smiled back, noticing how Yukhei had tightened his fists at the comment of his supposed ‘nickname’. The president looked at the two in confusion, wondering why both of them seemed to have a tense sort of aura.

“Well… I’ll leave you to it, Minhyung. Remember to report back here after school with him, alright? Show him around the school and your classes. See you two later.” And with that, the principal left, leaving both of the two alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHKJGHSFLK WHY DID THIS TAKE LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE
> 
> please comment i love all of u guys who comment muah
> 
> hmu on twitter @ zhunyeon!!!


	3. mark does not have a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tension.

“And yeah. That’s basically the entire school. I know it’s a bit big and all, but once you take classes here for a couple of days, you’ll probably get used to it. Besides, you really only need to use this part of the school. I doubt you’ll be going to the other areas since those are for the lower grades.” Mark gestured towards the end of the hall, the corridor splitting into two ways that signified the start of the hallways that separated other grade levels. “If you have any more questions, I’d be glad to answer them. I know class today was a bit weird too, but that’s just because it’s almost the end of the third quarter, so everyone’s just scrambling to get work done to turn in. I promise it’s not always this hectic.”

Yukhei had been silent for a while now, not really paying attention to the class and instead, reading a small novel in what Mark presumed was Chinese. Every so often Mark would catch Yukhei’s gaze wandering around the room and finally center on Mark’s eyes, which would then result in them awkwardly turning away at the same time and pretending as if nothing had occurred. This had gone on for quite a while until Mark finally told himself that he would no longer suffer from uncomfortable stares and focused his attention more on his classmates’ worries than anything else. He assumed that Yukhei had probably thought the same too.

Leaning against the wall with his uniform tie hung loosely around his neck, Yukhei shifted slightly so that he was now facing Mark, looming over the younger boy as he essentially towered over everyone in the school. “Yes,” This was the first word that Mark had heard Yukhei utter since they had met near the front office, “I actually do have a question, you see?” Yukhei had begun to inch closer to Mark, placing a hand near Mark’s head on the wall as if he was interrogating him. “So when are you going to actually tell me what you’ve been doing with my mom’s flowers? You know, every night, she talks about mysterious thieves stealing her flowers that she spends a long time growing. It pains me. Yet, here you are, still refusing to take me to see this girl that you keep giving them to. If I were her, I’d reject you. What idiot gives flowers anyways?”

The two boys were dangerously close now, Yukhei getting closer and closer with each word he muttered with disdain. Mark noticed that Yukhei’s accent was lighter now, a casual listener probably not being able to tell that Yukhei was a foreigner. Did his accent disappear when he was angry?

“So, you have two choices now. One, you pay my mom. Two, you _actually_ take me to see your girlfriend. There is no option three.” Yukhei shook his head, pretending to be in disbelief that he was actually having such a talk with a person. “So what will you choose, hm?” Sweating, Mark opened his mouth to answer, slightly intimidated yet all used to such threats. He was student council president for a reason.

But before Mark could retort, loud, heavy footsteps were heard coming down the adjacent hall, Yukhei quickly stepping back and fixing his tie, acting as if nothing had happened.

“Lee Jeno! There you are.” Mark exclaimed, uttering a silent prayer to thank Jeno for coincidentally intervening. “How was your trip? You know, you didn’t have to return to school, right? I mean, classes end in…” Mark looked up at the clock on the wall. “Like right now.” As Mark had predicted, the bell sounded, hordes of students filing out of classrooms so that they could return home as fast as they came. With a quick wave, Jeno turned back around again, joining the crowd as his body seemed to blend in with all the other students who were heading the same way. Turning his attention back to Yukhei, the boy seemed annoyed, but Mark couldn’t do anything about it. Shrugging, Mark turned the opposite way, pushing past people as he left the hall and headed towards the student council office.

Upon entering the room, Mark leaned back against the doorway, thankful that he was out of the crowded halls. Recounting the recent events, he wondered if perhaps he should’ve been a bit nicer to the boy. It wasn’t like he had any right to be mad at him, anyways. After all, he was the one stealing the boy’s mother’s flowers. Rolling his eyes at nothing in particular, Mark decided that he would be the better person and find Yukhei and perhaps guide him back home. Weren’t they on the same bus anyways?

Looking around the room and taking a quick glance at Jaemin and Renjun’s desks, Mark left the office, most of the students already gone and cleared from the halls. How was he going to find Yukhei? He had no idea. He guessed the taller boy was probably near the front office though, concluding this after a quick thought of the discussion they had held that morning.

Making his way down to the front of the school, it didn’t take long for Mark to spot the enormous figure standing near the doorway. Mark felt somewhat bad for the boy. He looked a bit sad.

Approaching Yukhei who had his back turned, Mark lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Startled, Yukhei turned around quickly, a small gasp escaping his mouth as he didn’t expect it to be Mark. “Come on,” Mark softly said, a bit surprised at the tone of his own voice. “I’ll take you there. Just… don’t tell your mother. Please. I won’t go back anymore.” Mark muttered under his breath, gesturing for Yukhei to follow him out the school and onto the bus platform. Yukhei picked up fairly quickly, walking faster as to catch up with Mark’s own pace. As the two boarded the bus, Mark found it only courteous to sit in the same row of seats as Yukhei. Sure, it would be a bit awkward, but Mark was trying to be nice.

So the two sat side by side on the bus, both looking opposite ways in efforts to deter any possible attempts of making conversation. Mark didn’t understand why he was doing this. He was normally such a warm and welcoming person. Counting down the seconds till the bus arrived at their shared stop, Mark almost jumped off his seat, rushing to thank the bus driver and run back to his own home where his bike was still parked up against the house’s walls. “I’ll be back! Wait here.” Mark called out, hoping that Yukhei had heard him and wouldn’t walk down the other side of the street without giving Mark a chance. Surprisingly, when he arrived, pedaling down the streets on his bike, Yukhei was still there.

“Don’t leave me again. Like last time.” Yukhei commented, an annoyed expression on his face yet his tone a bit playful. With this, Mark smiled. It seemed as if their relationship wasn’t as awkward as it had originally seemed after all. Patting the seat behind him, Yukhei got on the bike, clutching parts of the bike as if he were holding on for dear life. Mark chuckled at this and pedaled forwards towards the graveyard. So what was the plan now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short im so tired :(( but i have A LOT planned
> 
> hello hello i love everyone who comments I LOVE YOU ALL
> 
> hmu on twitter @zhunyeon pls


	4. do you know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark and yukhei visit the graveyard while yukhei gets an idea

“Oh,” The soft sound escaped Yukhei’s lips as it floated up into the air and seemed to vanish. The sky had turned a bright fuchsia colour, resembling that of a lit firework. Only a few minutes ago were the two boys laughing together, Yukhei desperately trying to make fun of Mark who only played off the jokes. Staring at the dozens of flower bouquets and vases that littered the ground around the grave, Yukhei could feel his stomach churn. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m so sorry, Mark.” Yukhei mumbled, glancing over at the boy who looked as if he was lost in his own train of thought. “I really didn’t know. I’m truly sorry.” He apologised again, bowing his head a bit more in respect. The gravestone was marked with Mark’s parents’ English names and Korean names, and obvious marker that they really were Mark’s parents. It was a sad sight to see, and Yukhei felt a bit uncomfortable as he had no idea how to approach the situation. With both his parents still alive, he couldn’t help but feel as if he had no right to say anything. It was probably better if he stayed silent. His Korean wasn’t that good, anyways.

After a few moments of silence, Mark spoke up. His tone was emotionless, trying his best to conceal the thoughts behind his words and what he was even thinking at all. “It’s fine, Yukhei. You didn’t know. Besides, it’s my fault; I’m stealing your mother’s flowers, after all.” Mark tried to smile towards Yukhei, but it only came out as a grotesque sort of grin. “Let’s leave. I hate this place.” He scowled, turning his back from the sight of the graves and marched towards the entrance, not really caring whether or not Yukhei followed.

The bike ride back to the bus stop was quiet, the chirping of birds gathering supplies to make their nests and busy streets packed with angry cars filling up most of the atmosphere. Thinking to himself, Yukhei felt bad for lashing out at Mark that morning. Was he wrong to feel sorry? Though his Korean was nowhere near the level that Yukhei would’ve preferred, he still found himself speaking up as the two waited for a traffic light to turn green, despite there being no cars on either sides of the intersecting roads.

“Hey, Mark,” Yukhei shouted over loud noises of the cars behind them honking. It seemed that Mark was startled by these sudden words, flinching a bit before gripping even tighter onto the bicycle’s handles. “Do you want to come over to my house for dinner today? I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind. Besides, I need to thank you for showing me around the school. My mom makes very good Chinese food.” Yukhei smiled, feeling the cool air graze over his skin as they biked on.

It took a few seconds before Mark could respond. Coming to a stop at the corner of the street where their bus stop was, Mark leaped off the bike, taking a deep sigh. Sure, he had a tutoring session with a girl in primary school later that day and his grandmother was probably expecting to be home right before dinner, but how many chances did Mark have to do this? Besides, he could text the girls’ parents. It wasn’t like he hadn’t canceled like this before.

“Sure. I’d love to.” Mark shrugged, guiding the bike onto the sidewalk, leaning up against one of the buildings that were placed alongside the sidewalk. “Where do you live anyway? I suppose on top of the flower shop if your mom owns the place. Damn, I’ve always wanted to live in a studio.” Mark asked, getting up and taking his bike so that he could walk to the flower shop he knew back to front.

“Yep! You’re right. My mom and I live on the second floor. My dad is in Hong Kong, but that’s fine. We facetime a lot.” Yukhei hummed, kicking a stray pebble onto the road. The walk wasn’t very far, making Mark a bit envious that Yukhei didn’t really need to walk far to get to the bus stop while the nearest one from Mark’s home was around a 20-minute walk. “Facetime. Facetime? Is there a Korean equivalent for the word?”

Mark shook his head. He wouldn’t have known either.

The two arrived at the flower shop, Mark bitterly smiling at the small sign that hung above the door way. ‘Welcome!’ it read in English, Mark smiling a bit more as he remembered past memories from Canada. Ah, how bittersweet it was to be back in Korea.

“ _Wei? Ma! Ngo you peng yao laui liu_.” Yukhei screamed as he entered the shop, Mark’s face twisting in confusion at the sound of the foreign words. A recognizable voice answered Yukhei’s screams, more Cantonese being thrown from the upper level of the shop to where Mark and Yukhei stood. “Yeah. So my mom said it was fine for you to be here. Come on.” Yukhei waved his hand, moving to the back of the shop where a staircase led up. Craning his neck to look up the stairs, Mark was startled to find the upper level dimly lit with red lights and an eerie aura radiating from the floor.

“It’s fine. My mom changes the colour each day. She’s… art.” Yukhei thought for a bit, deciding to give up on the word ‘artistic’ and instead replacing it with the word ‘art’. Mark clamored up the stairs, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally saw the entire studio. The room was dark aside from the red mood lights, most of the window blinds shut. Yukhei’s mother was in the middle of the room, setting up plates on the huge table that was situated in the middle of the room.

“Mark! Long time no see. You haven’t been here in a while- or is it because I was gone? Anyways, I’ve missed you!” Mrs. Huang walked over to give Mark a hug, glaring at Yukhei who stood behind Mark sheepishly. “And you,” She pointed a finger at Yukhei accusingly, “Forgot to do the dishes last night. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve done the dishes? I have to hand wash them every time because you always ask me to make foods that stick to the plates. And- _tihng dai_!” Mrs. Huang had abruptly let go of Mark, her finger still pointed at Yukhei who seemed to be creeping into his bedroom. “If you don’t do the dishes tonight, I’m taking away your 3DS for the entire month. Okay?”

Yukhei groaned, slinking back to the middle of the room. “ _Hou, hou_. I heard you the first time.” Yukhei rolled his eyes, snickering as he made eye contact with Mark.

“Mark, sweetie, you can follow Yukhei into his room. I’m sure he won’t mind showing you how messy he truly is while I get dinner ready.” Mrs. Huang laughed, going back into the kitchen to carry a dish out. Mark grinned back at her, entering Yukhei’s room. It was a small room, perhaps smaller than Mark’s. The single drawer that was in his room was crammed near his bed, posters of rock bands Mark had never heard of covering each portion of the wall, an old, dusty guitar stuffed into one of the wall’s corners. Along the top of the wall was a string of white flowers, presumably placed there by Yukhei’s mother who had wanted to liven up the depressive room. She wasn’t wrong when she said it was messy.

“Yeah, so that was my mom. She’s kind of annoying, not going to lie. I don’t even know how you like her.” Yukhei grumbled, picking up his 3DS from the floor and inserting a game card into it. “But she makes the best food, so I guess I can live with it.” At this comment, Mark chuckled, bringing the back of his hand to his mouth in laughter. It seemed that his decision to go with Yukhei wouldn’t be much of a regret, after all.

As Yukhei laid on his bed, his 3DS in front of his face and his feet dangling off the bed, Mark sat on the floor, picking up an old Chinese magazine that had rips and tears along the cover. As Mark couldn’t read the words in the magazine, he deemed it useless, throwing it over the back of his head before he swore he spotted a model wearing almost nothing. Surprised, Mark turned his head to pick the magazine back up but was interrupted by Yukhei’s mother.

“It’s time to eat! Wong Yukhei, I better not see you carrying that stupid 3DS to the dinner table when we have a guest. You know better.” Grumbling something incoherent, Yukhei set the machine down, stepping over Mark’s scrunched up legs and walking out the door.

**…**

The dinner was nice. Mark had enjoyed the tangy taste of the Southern Chinese cuisine. It was different when compared to traditional Korean dishes, but that made Mark appreciate it more. Of course, it was different from the Chinese food Mark had eaten in Canada, but that was to be expected. Mark was proud of himself for eating something so _authentic_.

“Wow, Mrs. Huang, that was really good! I think that’s the most food I’ve eaten in my entire time here in Korea so far.” Mark exclaimed, a bit tired from all the food he had devoured out of courtesy for Mrs. Huang. It was good food, yes, but Mark had already grown so accustomed to not having anything for dinner or only having a simple bun from the nearby bakery. The thought of consuming so much food almost made him feel like vomiting it all up.

“I appreciate it, Mark. You’re welcome to come back anytime if you ever want some more.” She smiled, taking both Mark and hers’ plates as she walked into the kitchen.

“Hey! You forgot to take my plate!” Yukhei cried, suddenly getting up from his seat and chasing after his mother with his plate.

“Serves you right for not washing the dishes! After you return Mark home you better wash the dishes first. Do you understand?” Mark could hear Yukhei groan from the kitchen, resignedly placing his plate into the kitchen sink. Assuming that this was the right time to return home, Mark headed towards Yukhei’s room where he had previously placed his book bag in. Picking up his books and school uniform jacket from the floor, Mark dusted it off. The only true thing he felt pride in while living in Korea was his uniform. It looked nice and reminded him of the high academic scores he would place despite not being a native Korean speaker.

Holding up his jacket and staring at the badge that was ironed onto the front, Mark jumped when a loud growling noise traveled into his ear. “Fuck-“ Mark cursed in English, quickly turning around to face Yukhei who was cackling loudly.

“Hah! Your face is so funny. I wish I could do that again.” He mused, his hands positioned behind his back. Mark sighed, shaking his head and extending an arm out to put back on his jacket. “Now wait, Mark.” Yukhei moved backward to close the door to his bedroom, shutting it so that the noises from the rest of the studio couldn’t be heard. “Close your eyes.” Yukhei’s voice had become a quieter, turning into almost a whisper.

Mark began to backup, his heel hitting the foot of the bed so that he could backup no longer. Closing his eyes mostly out of anxiety than what Yukhei had requested of him, Mark could feel something being placed on his head. When he opened his eyes, Yukhei was grinning ear to ear, scrambling around the room to find a mirror of some sorts. Eventually finding a small compact mirror, Yukhei opened it to show Mark what he had done. Yukhei had placed a small flower crown of a few dozen small, blue flowers onto Mark’s head. Contrasting with the dark blue uniform that Mark wore, it seemed to match nicely. Mark couldn’t help but feel flustered at this, his cheeks heating up as he grasped the flower crown and took it off from his head.

“Ah, no,” Yukhei shushed Mark, grabbing Mark’s hands and forced Mark to place it back on his head. “It looks nice. Keep it like that.” Mark turned away, unable to say anything. What was this feeling? Why was his heart suddenly speeding up? “Are you alright?” Yukhei said, leaning down a bit so they were at eye level. “You look a bit sick. Maybe mom was right- You should go home. Get rest.”

“Oh, yes. Perhaps you’re right, Yukhei. T-thanks.” Mark stuttered, pulling at his shirt collar before grabbing his back pack and heading towards the door. Just before Mark could go to hold the handle, Yukhei tapped him on the shoulder.

“Do you know what flower this is? My mom taught me the Korean name.” Yukhei said, pointing to the flower crown. “It’s the _mulmangcho_. The forget-me-not flower.” And with that, Mark turned around, grabbing the door handle as he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY KIDS TIME FOR A CANTONESE LESSON
> 
> Wei? Ma! Ngo you peng yao laui liu. = 喂？妈！我有朋友来了。= Hello? Mom! I have a friend over.  
> Tihng dai! = 停低！ = Stop!  
> Hou, hou. = 好，好。 = Okay, okay.
> 
> and that was ur cantonese lesson for the day
> 
> (FEEL FREE TO HIT ME UP ON TWT @zhunyeon OR ASK ME SOME STUFF ON CURIOUSCAT @haknyeonism THANK YOU MUAH)


	5. bruised hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark is tired. give him some slack.

The two boys walked down the street side by side, Yukhei offering to take Mark’s bag for him while the latter had refused. The walk was pleasant as the weather had calmed down and the sun was now slightly over the horizon as a cool wind blew past the tops of the trees and tossed around stray leaves. Taking the time to admire the scenery of the city, Mark tuned out Yukhei’s long ramblings and instead focused on his own thoughts. He had completely forgotten about his tutoring session and the fact that his grandmother had expected him home a few hours ago. Mark suddenly held an uneasy feeling of letting Yukhei go near his home.

As the two walked closer and closer to Mark’s neighbourhood and finally saw the start of identical looking homes, Mark began to speed up, dragging along his bike. “Hey,” Yukhei commented after noticing this, “Wait up!”

Almost shoving his bike onto the ground near his home, Mark continued to walk up the steps, reaching for the keys in his pocket before Yukhei grabbed Mark’s arm, pulling him back to the steps of the house. Suddenly, the two were face to face, a mere inches separating their faces from each other. “Hey-“ Yukhei roughly said, a bit out of breath after having run a bit to catch up with Mark’s fleeting figure. “Don’t forget this.” Yukhei smiled, pulling a small flower out of his back pocket, swiftly tucking it behind Mark’s right ear. The flower crown was now gone (Mark had stuffed it into his backpack), so it seemed that the small bud of the forget-me-not could replace it.

“I keep telling you, you look nice with the flower. Keep it.” Yukhei whispered, leaning closer into Mark, placing his lips close to Mark’s ear before whispering, “My little _mulmangcho_.”

**…**

When Mark awoke the next morning in the basement as he had for the past few days, his bones seemed to creak with each movement he made. The bruises that seemed to follow a ritualistic pattern along his arms and legs were a painful reminder of the events from the day before, when his grandmother had coincidentally exited the house just as Yukhei had gotten close to Mark. Surprisingly, his grandmother had acted _nice_ , something that Mark had never seen before. Upon spotting Yukhei, she had greeted him nicely, asking Mark in a sort of tone that just seemed **so fake** to him if Yukhei was his friend. Panicking, Mark had snatched the flower from his ear and shoved it into his pocket, horrified as he shooed Yukhei back home, assuring him that he would accompany the boy around school the next day as he was still new.

When Mark marched into the home, there was no stopping the whirlwind of curses and blows that were directed towards his way. Only a few days ago, Mark had considered the progress he was making in his home alright, as the number of cuts and bruises he counted each night was slowly dwindling down. Mark truly thought that he was making significant improvement as the number went from 30 to a mere 5. It was evident that Mark had royally fucked up though, as the number had hit an all-time high. Too tired to count, Mark had estimated around 40, which almost seemed impossible from an outsider’s perspective.

Taking one more look in the mirror and sighing at the sight of his messy hair and deep eye bags, Mark pulled on his school uniform, thankful that it was long sleeved and no one could see the damages done to his body. People would try and persuade him into joining one the school’s various sports teams, but Mark had refused. Sure, he loved sports, but it seemed that this was the only thing from really stopping him. Gym was his least favourite class too, because of this.

Not even bothering to eat breakfast, Mark pushed open the house door, trying to block out memories of the day before from entering his thought process. He had a test that day, so he was more focused on memorizing the steps of speciation rather than thinking about what Yukhei was going to say before his grandmother had rudely interrupted or what his grandmother meant when she said that even his mother saw him as a disappointment. Perhaps he would never know if he never questioned.

The bus pulled up to the stop soon after Mark had sat down. There was no sight of Yukhei anywhere, which seemed to calm him down. Taking a deep breath, Mark got up from the bench and boarded the bus, not even taking the chance to look back if Yukhei had run up to the bus, reaching out for the door in fear that the bus would leave without him. Turning his head to the window, Mark was satisfied to hear the door close soon after.

Being the first one to step off the bus, Mark headed straight towards his classroom, dropping off a few of his things in the student council office (for once, there was no one there) and headed straight towards his homeroom. Taking a seat behind his desk that was situated in the back of the classroom, Mark propped open the book he had carried with him to the classroom and began to read. When the bell rang a few minutes later, a few students had already entered the class, most of them fooling around near their friends’ desks or trying to rush and finish last night’s homework. Everyone in the class knew and respected Mark, but it was unusual that someone would approach him at this point. Deep into his book, even if someone wanted to talk to him, the look on his face as he devoured the contents was enough to deter anyone from striking up a conversation with him.

“H-hey, Minhyung.” A soft voice called out from behind, gently tapping on Mark’s shoulder as to get his attention. As if woken from a trance, Mark turned around to face his fellow classmate, Kim Yerim. Yerim had been the one who had first showed Mark around the school and the one who had helped further boost his popularity in the school. In a way, it seemed Mark was indebted to her. “There’s this weird kid in the hallway who I think is new here. I thought he seemed lost and was going to help him but then I remember that you’re usually the one who shows new kids around now. Are you supposed to be helping him? It’s alright though, I showed him where our classroom was. I think he went to get his stuff.” She said, patting his back and squinting a bit at the book Mark held. “What is that- statistics? You’re so smart, wow.” She commented, a bit impressed as she walked away.

After Yerim’s mention of a ‘new kid’, Mark’s blood had already run cold. It seemed like he hadn’t truly escaped Yukhei after all. Looking up at the clock on top of the chalkboard, Mark prayed that the teacher would walk in and close the doors so Yukhei would be late and that Mark wouldn’t have to interact with him. Yet, as Mark listened to the talk of his fellow classmates, there seemed to be no sign of the teacher. Sighing, Mark ran a hand up his arms, feeling the soreness of the bruises start to return to him, wincing as he felt an acute sense of pain travel up his body as he pressed down on a sensitive spot near his wrists.

Biting down a curse, Mark looked up after hearing footsteps and was horrified to see Yukhei staring directly in his face. Yukhei’s hair was messily combed down, accentuating his already cute features so that Mark’s lips almost seemed to tremble. Squinting at Mark’s wrists, Yukhei quickly took note of Mark’s pain, using heavily accented Korean to question him. “Are you okay?” The elder said, leaning back on his heels with his hands in his jacket pockets.

Quickly, Mark shut his book and rolled down his jacket sleeves, furiously storing the book into his bag. “I’m fine- I’m not in pain or anything, but thanks for the concern. It doesn’t hurt at all.” He dismissed the fact, not watching the words he had just said. This prompted an even more curious look from Yukhei, who could only turn his head sideways in confusion and ponder the words for a bit.

“I never asked if you were in pain. But if you’re alright, then I guess I’ll trust you.” Yukhei opened his mouth one more time to say something more but closed it quickly as if he regretted even thinking about the possibility. Shrugging, Yukhei returned to the seat that was given to him the day before, just in time for the teacher to walk in.

**…**

Even if the class was only 20 minutes in session, it felt like it had been years since Mark had entered the school doors and sat down in his seat. Usually, he enjoyed class and was absorb any information given to him by teachers, but today there seemed to be no motivation to do even trivial tasks such as reminding his classmates to take out the trash in the morning or to sweep the hallways before the teachers arrived. Was this the toll his beatings from his grandmother were taking on him? He prided himself on his emotional and physical strength. There was no need for any interference now.

Picking out a random book that was hastily stuffed into his bag, Mark took the novel out and placed it in front of him, keen on reading through the entire book so that his attention would at least be occupied for the time. Flipping through the first few pages he had already read, Mark turned to the middle of the book, shocked to see what lay inside the pages. It seemed that the flower from the day before that Yukhei had given him was pressed in between the pages, the bright blue petals still standing out even after they had been pressed down (and presumably) dead. Not daring to pick the flower up, Mark stared at it, his eyes quivering as he felt a rush of pain overcome him again. What was the flower’s name again? He couldn’t recall.

Gripping the pen in his right hand tightly, Mark finally gave up on trying to remember. It seemed that he had tried to recall for quite some time though, as the bell suddenly rang, signaling the end of that class. This didn’t bother Mark though, as his head was already resting on his desk. Why was he so tired, he didn’t know. Yet, the idea of having a quick nap sounded nice. Closing his eyes, Mark soon fell asleep, not spotting the growing figure of Yukhei gradually approaching him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sadly,,,,,,, no cantonese today
> 
> its just mark's thoughts
> 
> (HMU on twt @zhunyeon or drop a small message on curiouscat @haknyeonism !!!! thank u guys ily IM TRYING TO UPDATE FASTER DSJGFHSDJHSGDFLKJSLG WRITER'S BLOCK STOP)


	6. dream in a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark has a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay before you start- this chapter is very short for a reason!!! i've been VERY sick lately (like,,,, not able to breathe sick YiKes), so i havent had enough time to write a full chapter WHICH IVE PLANNED A LOT FOR ;w ; so! im planning to get that out hopefully,,,, by saturday or friday? for now have this dream sequence from mark hehe

When Mark awoke, he found himself under the shade of a small pavilion, his right cheek resting harshly on his arms that were tucked onto the table underneath him. The sun shone down brightly, a stark difference from the weather he had remembered from that morning. Sitting up, Mark rubbed his eyes, yawning as he leaned back in his chair. Looking at his surroundings, there seemed to be an empty chair across from him, pushed into the table. Outside of the pavilion was a magnificent garden- filled with flowers of blue variations and silver tinted leaves. The light from the sun reflected off the leaves, giving them an almost pearlescent shine.

Snapping his head back to the chair in front of him, Mark jumped a bit as Yukhei was now leaning over him, both his hands placed on the table. With his face dangerously close to his own, Mark held his breath, waiting for either one of them to speak first. It seemed that Mark couldn’t take the deafening silence anymore, letting out a deep sigh and finally speaking up.

“Who are you?” He whispered, this time leaning in too so there was practically little space left between the two boys. As Mark was still sitting down, Yukhei lifted up Mark’s chin with one of his fingers, scowling a bit.

“Who am I?” Yukhei thought, glancing to the side with a sort of arrogant attitude. “I think the question here is who are you, my friend.” The accent that had once made Yukhei’s voice so distinct was gone, replaced with almost perfect Korean. It seemed weird that Mark was now dreaming in Korean rather than English, the language he was better at.

Mark fell back into his chair after Yukhei used his other hand to push gently on his forehead, collapsing into the chair with a small bang. “Ah,” He muttered, “Friend? I see.” Mark began to fidget with his fingers, twisting the ring on his left index finger around. Rolling his eyes, Yukhei exited the pavilion with a quick step, walking over to the garden. With one hand in his pocket, Yukhei bent down to pick the flower of a small bush, the deep blue petals seeming to disappear right before Mark’s eyes and transform into one of pure snow. Turning the blossom around in his hands, Yukhei sighed, his eyelashes fluttering towards the sad flower.

“Unless you’d like to be something else,” Yukhei commented, casting the flower aside on the ground, swiftly bringing his foot down on the stem, crushing it beneath his feet. “It’s not that deep, _Minhyung_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire thing is a (lowkey) reference to one of my favourite webcomics hehe so if you like,,,, actually guess what it is i guess i have to give you a prize or smth bcus its so obscure lmao


	7. wounded souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yukhei makes a discovery and mark hates the student council

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i wrote this all just now sorry for any grammar mistakes its almost 1 am please slam dunk me into the void

Yukhei stared at Mark’s almost lifeless figure, bending down to get a better look at Mark’s peaceful face that was serenely resting on his own arm. Straightening his back, Yukhei yawned, already tired from the boring class that had just occurred. Why was he even going to a Korean school anyways? He barely understood a word the teachers would utter towards him. They barely even bothered to call on him. The corners of Yukhei’s mouth twitched in excitement. Ah, it was going to be a fun year.

Hearing a small moan escape from Mark’s form, Yukhei’s attention was directed towards the younger boy, his right arm limply fallen at his side. Staring at Mark’s arm, Yukhei couldn’t help but feel a bit curious about the words Mark had said only an hour ago. Was Mark in pain? Was that really it? Yukhei had always been one for mischievous. It was something that he was born with, after all.

Lightly placing a hand on Mark’s shoulder, Yukhei attempted to shake Mark awake. “Hey,” Yukhei gently said, his expression softening at the sight of Mark’s small smile despite being deeply asleep. “Mark, are you alright?” He asked, delicately grabbing Mark’s right hand. From the corner of his eyes, Yukhei could swear that Mark’s face suddenly exhibited a look of pain, yet by the time he looked back, it was gone. Making sure everyone in the classroom was occupied, Yukhei quietly rolled back Mark’s uniform sleeves, almost gasping as multiple bruises were uncovered, trailing up Mark’s arm from his wrists to where the sleeves had stopped rolling up.

Yukhei was confused. What had happened? The mixture of blues, purples, reds, and tan seemed all too much for Yukhei to handle. It was all grotesque. What kind of sick person would do this to himself? Horrified, Yukhei quickly rolled back up Mark’s sleeves, his hands trembling as he did so. He suddenly felt like forgoing all his breakfast. Yukhei didn’t seem to understand why he felt so repulsed by the number of wounds that littered the Canadian boy’s arm. He had been in numerous fights as a child, coming home from school with a note from his teacher in one hand and numerous scratches and bruises on the other. When it came to Mark, why was he so surprised?

Once he had finished placing Mark’s arm on the table rather than it dangling so carelessly off the table, Yerim had walked up to Mark’s desk, placing both hands on the back of his chair.

“So, you’re the new kid, right? Sorry, I didn’t ask your name- What was it again?” She said, oblivious to the situation, extending her hand to shake Yukhei’s. Hesitantly, Yukhei extended his own, quickly shaking her hand and letting it go once the whole ordeal was over. Spotting this small detail in behaviour, Yerim frowned, but didn’t let the gesture ruin the entire mood. “I’m sorry Minhyung forgot to show you around. He’s student council president, so I’m sure he’s tired from all the work. But all our classrooms are quite convenient so I’m sure you won’t need him to show you around after this week passes. That reminds me, how are you liking the school so far?”

During the entire conversation, Yukhei had zoned out, focusing on the possible source of Mark’s wounds rather than focusing on whether he liked or disliked the dingy school. When the sound of Yerim’s impatient foot tapping on the floor became evident in Yukhei’s mind, he finally snapped back to reality, quickly shouting out his answer. “Yes! I like the school. _Yes_. **_Yes_**.” He said in his worst Korean, mentally slapping himself in the face for being such an asshole.

“Oh.” Yerim blankly stated, taking a step back and releasing her hands from Mark’s chair. “That’s great, I guess. I need to go to my next class but, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” She finally said, waving her hand and motioning to be a bit quieter as she pointed to Mark. After watching her fleeting figure exit out the door, Yukhei sighed. It seemed that things were only getting started.

…

Pressing down harshly on the multiple wounds that were spread all over his arm, Mark cried out loudly, trying his best to not let tears well and flood his eyes. Digging his nails into his palm, Mark looked up at the ceiling, concentrating on his breathing so that he could have something else to focus on. There was definitely something wrong with his arm. Even the pain from the numerous bruises couldn’t hide that fact.

Walking over to his own desk where a computer sat, Mark turned the monitor on, quietly waiting in the empty student council office before a small chime from the speakers made clear that the computer was now turned on. Using the mouse, Mark cautiously typed in a few words, making sure to limit extreme wrist movement so there would be partial amounts of pain. Though Mark wasn’t as confident in his Korean searching skills, Mark was finally able to conclude that he had (or _she_ had), in fact, broken his wrist. Groaning at his failure to realise this in the first place, Mark closed his eyes and fell back into his chair, tired of being so disappointed in himself. Would there ever be a time when Mark would finally begin to feel satisfied with life? It seemed that life only wanted him to fail. Perhaps that was its final goal.

Sitting up in his chair after being disgusted by his own self-pity, Mark began to think of excuses to get his wrist checked out by the school nurse. The only thing that really made sense to him was that he had broken it playing baseball with his friends, but it was widely known that Mark hated baseball. He was more of a basketball person. Shrugging, Mark gave up. It would suffice for now. Besides, the nurses wouldn’t care.

Scanning of the search results on the computer, Mark heard the sound of the door unlocking, quickly shutting all the tabs and forgetting to clear his search history. In filed the rest of the student council, Renjun and Jaemin arguing (as they always did), Jeno trailing behind with his phone, Chenle and Jisung talking in whispered voices, and Donghyuck stretching as he made his way through the door. Though Mark didn’t expect any of them to acknowledge his existence, he couldn’t help but feel nervous with his heart pounding in his chest. It seemed that his hunch was correct, as the six other boys all gathered in their own separate areas, not paying one glance in Mark’s direction.

At last, it was Donghyuck who finally spoke up, directing the comment he made more at Mark than the entire council. “This council sucks. We don’t really do anything and there are not girls. Why don’t we have any girls? What kind of sexist pigs are we? Then again, I didn’t make this decision so…” He shrugged, getting Chenle to giggle at these comments. “It’s all the truth though. I don’t make the rules.”

Sighing, Mark covered his face with his good hand. “I thought all of you seemed like good, hardworking candidates. Obviously, I was wrong. Plus, I’m sure you’d all be flirting with any girl on student council anyways. I couldn’t risk that.”

“Please Mark, surely you don’t think we’re all like that?” Jeno added in before Donghyuck could say anything else. “But I can agree with Hyuck on one thing. We really do suck.”

Sighing even louder now, Mark groaned in anguish. “I do all the work here and this is what I get? My God.” Though his tone was serious, the playful on his face betrayed his words. Getting up from his chair, Mark walked over to Chenle and Jisung, lifting his head to appear taller so that he could intimidate them with his height. “You two.” He stated, pointing two fingers at the boys. “Where were you two when I needed you? Last week’s social event had to be rescheduled because we didn’t have enough volunteers when you guys were supposed to be there. May I please have an explanation this time?”

Shrugging, Chenle proceeded to ignore everything Mark had just said, instead turning to face Jisung. “Hey, did you see that new senior kid? He’s actually really cute. I bumped into him in the hallway this morning and he looked like a lost puppy. I think he’s Chinese but when I asked him to speak Mandarin he sounded like he didn’t know a lick of it so I’m just going to assume he’s not for now. Unless he actually is then I feel really bad. Anyways, we should all go see him one day. We never get new kids anymore. I think Mark scares them all away.”

Almost screaming, Mark exited the office, slamming the door behind him.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Mark rubbed his right arm, walking down the empty hallways of the school. As student council meetings were always held after school, it wasn’t unusual for Mark to be at school until the end of the day, the dreaded feeling of returning back to his home recurring each time he left the school doors. Placing his hands in his pockets, Mark wandered the halls aimlessly, staring at the clocks in each hallway to keep track of the time. Closing his eyes, he took the time to take in the environment around him. The sound of birds chirping outside from open classroom windows sounded on the left, while the noisy commotion of sports players behind locked gym doors was on his right. Momentarily, everything seemed perfect.

Opening his eyes, Mark spotted a strange silhouette cross the hallway across from him. Curious, Mark continued down the hallway, careful not to make too much noise. Crossing the hallway and entering the corridor which the figure had fled into, Mark was surprised to find Yukhei standing outside, the wind from the balcony messing with his hair. Surprised, Mark’s cheeks began to heat up as he turned around to make a break for it. Sadly, before this could happen, Yukhei turned around, spotting the boy before he could run down the stairs and back into the student council office.

Opening the door that led onto the balcony, Yukhei called out to Mark. “No, wait! I have something to say to you, please, Mark!”

But it was too late, as the boy was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to implement more cantonese sobs
> 
> or should i add some 80s canto pop huh
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism


	8. who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark asks a favour from his parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before i start,,,,,
> 
> im soOOOOOO sorry for such a late update oh my god?? like writer's block is not fun at all.......... im really sad that it took me this long to write so little i feel really bad about all of this, im so sorry

Mark stormed down the hallway, ignoring the distant pleads and cries of his fellow classmate. It seemed that his mood swings were getting worse. After all, there was no reason for him to ignore Yukhei. He wasn’t even mad at him.

Yet, something nagged at him from the inside, urging Mark to run away from the other and instead avoid any contact. Shaking his head, Mark slowed down, finally coming to a stop in the middle of the hallway. What was happening to him? His head pounded, his arm throbbed. It seemed that the day couldn’t get any worse. Closing his eyes, Mark let out a deep sigh and leaned against the wall. What day was it again? He’d have to look back at his planner to make sure he wasn’t skipping anything on his strict schedule. He didn’t need another repeat of the day before.

When Mark opened his eyes, it seemed almost cliché that Yukhei was suddenly in front of him. How many times had such a situation occurred? It seemed that everything that revolved around the two was straight from a movie. Mark didn’t understand why Yukhei couldn’t just leave him alone.

“Mark, I really need to talk to you.” Yukhei said, taking a step back as Mark looked as if he was about to push past him and frantically run away. “It’s important. I really need to know this.” He managed to get out despite his awful accent returning back. It seemed that whenever Yukhei was flustered or in a hurry, his accent would show much more than he’d prefer. “Are you alright? I know this was not right, and I shouldn’t have, but I saw what you did to your arm. Why do you feel compelled to do this? Are you okay? You need to talk to someone, please.” Yukhei pleaded, suddenly grabbing Mark’s bad wrist and pulling it towards him to roll up his sleeves.

At this, Mark let out a horrid cry, wincing at the pain that shot through his entire body. Mark suddenly dropped to his knees, his ugly scars now visible to the entire world, as if they were some kind of horrific secret (which they were). Yukhei suddenly let go of Mark’s wrist, bending down to reach his level, confused and concerned at the boy’s reaction. “Are you okay? What happened? Do you need help?” Yukhei bombarded Mark with questions, placing a hand on Mark’s shoulder, tilting his head to catch Mark’s gaze.

Biting the inside of his lip and eventually tasting the familiar metallic taste of blood, Mark tried his best not to let out another scream. Glaring at Yukhei, Mark used his other hand to shove Yukhei away, harshly pushing the other into the wall.

“You,” Mark bit down, surprised at his own aggressive state as he was never this angry. “I hate you. What makes you think you have the right to talk to me like you’ve known me for years? How dare you even talk to me like this? Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m a goddamn child and don’t meddle with my own personal affairs. You disgust me with your lack of concern for others affairs.” Mark’s eyes seemed to be ablaze, gingerly holding his wrist with his opposite hand. “Don’t talk to me again, I beg you.” Mark’s voice seemed to soften, his gaze lowering as he finally began to walk away.

Coughing after his back had hit the back wall violently, Yukhei pushed himself up from the ground, reaching out with one hand to catch Mark. Yukhei didn’t understand a word of what Mark said, half of the younger’s words in English and the other half in rushed Korean slang. The only thing that Yukhei was able to grasp before Mark had hurriedly left the hallway were the last words the Canadian had uttered, the eerie tone of his voice still ringing in his head. Yukhei was a fool.

**…**

Walking into the nearest convenience store, Mark tried to make it less apparent that he was in pain, smiling at the worker who greeted him as he entered the store and placed the package of gauze and first-aid bandages onto the checkout desk. Bowing deeply once he had received the items, Mark began to sprint down the busy sidewalk, muttering small apologies to those he bumped into on the way back, slowing down once he was out of the city’s central area. There were some perks to living in a populous city, he guessed.

Taking a deep breath, Mark crossed the sidewalk and walked towards the graveyard. He hadn’t been back for a few days, occupied with work and the recent events that seemed to have altered his ability to get flowers for his parents. Gently closing the graveyard entrance gate behind him, Mark continued down the path to where his parents lay, his face breaking into the first smile of that day. Each time Mark would come to visit, oddly enough, there was no one around. It felt almost like a confessional.

Taking a seat on one of the small park benches that encompassed the entire cemetery, Mark took out the supplies he had bought from the store and began to unpackage them, roughly managing to say a small greeting to his parents as he bit down on a roll of gauze to cut it.

“How are-“ The gauze finally tore apart. “Fuck- you guys doing today? I missed you. School gets harder and harder which each moment I spend in that building. Oh, I’m sorry for cursing. I should really get rid of that habit. Ever since you both left, it seems to have grown more prevalent. I really must stop.” Mark sighed, finishing up wrapping the material around his wrist. Though it looked like it would do nothing, it was better than having his wrist fractured and unprotected. “I broke my wrist yesterday. I think I need to see the nurse but she might ask how it happened. Do you guys have any suggestions? I just need help now.” He let out a soft groan, leaning back into the bench.

“I-I… I don’t know what to do anymore.” Mark put the rest of the supplies into the plastic bag next to him, his hands trembling as he did so. “I miss you guys so much. I want to see you guys again. Please, give me a sign, anything. Give me your permission to join you both. Please? I’ll do anything. Just give me a sign.” He pleaded, tears starting to roll down his cheeks. He hated crying. “I’ll wait for your word in the next month. Just make it obvious, okay?” Mark took another deep breath before standing up, placing a small kiss on his parents’ gravestone before walking back down the beaten path to join the street again.

As Mark ambled across the sidewalk, there was no way to avoid the flower shop. Yukhei’s presence in his life seemed to grow by the minute. Turning his head the other way when he reached the destination, he breathed out a sigh of relief when nothing significant seemed to happen.

Mark returned back to his home without much fanfare, unlocking the screen door and entering the home. The sound of corny soap operas blared from his grandmother’s bedroom, her locked door a clear sign that he was not welcome to come in. Of course. It wasn’t as if he was planning on to, anyways. Mark quietly placed his shoes onto a shoe rack that had seen better years, placing his feet on the creaky floor and entered the dining room. The single lamp that lit up the room in the corner blinked as Mark arrived as if it was welcoming him. He smiled tiredly at the lamp, realising out of his own delusion that he was now smiling at an inanimate object.

Taking a seat in front of the single round table in the room, Mark set down his backpack next to him and pulled out his homework. With a pencil in his good hand, Mark began to write down equations and theorems in his math notebook, intensively taking notes. Pausing to take a quick break as his hand was starting to tire, Mark suddenly looked up and faced the empty wall. As if he was in a trance, Mark set down his pencil and lifted his hand, pointing to the wall.

“Who are you?” He whispered, leaning in closer.

And this time, the wall seemed to answer back.

“You’ve asked this before. The question is, who are **_you_**?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive any mistakes as im sure there are many. please encourage me to write more i need help hjdfghlfdsd
> 
> [talk to me on twt](https://twitter.com/zhunyeon)
> 
> [or give me a prompt and pair and i'll write a small blurb](https://curiouscat.me/haknyeonism)
> 
> [or buy me coffee lmao](https://ko-fi.com/haknyeon)


	9. 65 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark does some spring cleaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY ITS ME AGAIN ITS 1 AM DID YOU GUYS MISS ME DFHGJKLSDF

To say that Mark had not been counting the days since those moments would have been a lie, and Mark knew this very well. It had been 65 days since he had broken his wrist. 65 days since he had last spoke to Yukhei. 65 days since he had visited his parents’ grave. 70 days since he had visited the flower shop. 5 days since he had last stopped looking for his parents’ sign. Perhaps that in itself was a sign to give up.

Mark’s attitude towards the entire school had changed. His teachers hadn’t noticed, as his grades continued to excel and there wasn’t much to criticise him on, but his classmates could all feel the difference in his tone, in his work, and the way he acted around people now. Every few days, there would be at least someone who would confess to Mark. Usually, his normal reply would be to smile and gently turn them down, stating that they were an amazing person (despite never even talking to them once) but he was just too busy to enter a relationship. Now, he would scoff, turning his head and walking the other way. He hated his own change in attitude too.

Holding the door open for the person who entered after him, Mark headed straight towards the student council office, setting his bags down on Donghyuck’s desk. He would deal with them later.

Mark lifted his injured wrist, glad that it had healed partially. He hadn’t seen a doctor after all, too embarrassed and cautious to even try and risk it. His grandmother still hadn’t forgotten about the events of the previous months, every night giving him a painful reminder and reason to why he would get sudden sensations of pain midway through class without any movement of his wrist. When he thought about it, it seemed as if Mark’s wrists would never truly heal. It was fine though. Mark could deal with it until he graduated. He could survive.

As Mark sank back into his chair, he realised that the rest of the student council was probably never going to meet up with him as he had told them the day before, as they never really did listen to his orders. Getting out of the chair, Mark headed out the door and into the crowded hallway. Despite the loud noises coming from either direction, the sounds of gossip and rumours still made their way into Mark’s ears. _Oh, it was the student council boy again? The one who everyone used to like yet now despised? It looked like it was him. Ah, better not say anything bad, he’s looking our way._

Once he had arrived in his classroom, Mark took a seat at his usual desk. Shuffling around his books and papers, Mark shoved them all into the desk and got out a piece of paper to take the daily attendance so the teacher didn’t have to. Being the teacher’s pet had some perks (and some penalties). Looking up and down the aisles to catch students entering the classroom or talking with their friends at other areas of the room, Mark’s eyes finally trained on Yukhei’s empty seat which had been empty for almost a month now. Ever since Yukhei’s schedule had been finalised and the possibility of them sharing any classes finally suspended, the classroom seemed to have returned to normal. Once awhile Yerim would update Mark on how he was doing, but that soon stopped after Mark’s attitude towards the topic was less than interested.

Mark shook his head. It was no use in dwelling on past thoughts. There was a reason Mark hadn’t spoken to Yukhei, anyways. He’d like to keep it that way.

**…**

As it was the end of the school quarter, it was required that each person of Mark’s grade clean out their lockers. Though there was nothing in their lockers, school officials still monitored each person to make sure that they had followed with the procedure. If one speck of dust was found once the teachers had shone a light on every crack and corner of your locker, you were ordered to clean it up. Since Mark was well respected throughout the school faculty and was known as a student who would always follow the rules, it was no surprise that no one had come to check over his locker. Mark hadn’t remembered putting anything in the locker though, so it didn’t matter to him.

Finding himself alone at school once again, Mark strolled down the hallway, hands in both of his school uniform pockets. Entering the student’s corridor, he found his locker. It was quite similar to everyone else’s, except the minor scratch that ran across the top that was an ugly reminder of his first year at the school. He decided not to dwell on the thought, instinctively cringing at the thought of the events that led up to the creation of the scar.

Curious, Mark began to fidget with the lock, twisting it with the numbers he had clearly remembered since his first days when Yerim had showed him how to twist it the right way. _Is it different in Canada?_ He remembered her asking him once she had opened it up. Despite fully understanding what she had said, Mark had made the decision to shake his head. _I can’t understand what you’re saying, I’m sorry_. He had said and turned to look the other way.

The locker opened with a small click. The scent of spring rain and fresh flowers came rushing out as soon as Mark opened the small door. To his surprise, a large bouquet of flowers lay inside, a small card neatly tucked inside the middle, held by a transparent clasp. Confused, Mark grasped the bouquet, trying to remember if any of his classmates had forgotten to take it home. The flowers looked freshly cut, and a bit familiar to Mark. Where had he seen these before?

Staring at the red card, Mark picked it up but quickly put it back, not daring to mess up the arrangement in case the flowers weren’t meant for him. Staring at the blossoms a bit more intently, flecks of bright blue were scattered across the white flowers.

Oh.

Now he remembered.

Mark’s expression suddenly changed from a calm, dazed on to a mad, crazed one. Grasping the flower bouquet harshly, Mark stormed down the hallway, finding himself walking towards the school’s balcony where he had found Yukhei only a few months before. Seething with anger, he climbed the steps and slammed the door open, not even blinking when the loud noise of the door slamming into the wall scared Yukhei, his large figure jumping and quickly turning to see who had been the perpetrator. Spotting Mark, his face immediately softened, yet his eyebrows maintained its furrowed state at the sight of his distressed face.

“Mark- what’s wrong? Oh my, is that my bouquet? Did you finally read my card-“ Yukhei began to say as he walked closer towards Mark to take the bouquet from his hands. Having the advantage of thinking his plan out before, Mark quickly threw the bouquet on the ground, crushing it with the heel of his shoes before screaming at Yukhei.

“What’s wrong? You think you can ask me what is wrong when I tell you to not talk to me yet you still insist on having some kind of contact with me? You think it’s alright to give me a bouquet of flowers that clearly remind me of my parents’ fucking death and expect me to react how? You better thank whatever God you pray to that I didn’t find these during the school day or I’d be strangling you to death right now. You may think I’m overreacting, but God, Yukhei, how could you?” Mark’s voice became hoarse as he began to shout even more, his voice finally failing him as he spoke his last words.

It seemed like everything was going so fast, as Mark found himself pinned against the wall, Yukhei pressing his soft lips onto his own, slowly prying them open. Mark’s heart began to pound greatly. Why did he always feel this way around him?

The kiss wasn’t like how it was portrayed in the movies. It wasn’t something from a fairytale, either. The kiss was short and bitter, that left a bit of a blue taste in Mark’s mouth when Yukhei pulled away and took a deep breath before kissing him again. Mark’s cheeks flushed, gripping onto the front of Yukhei’s shirt even tighter than he had before. All kinds of thoughts intruded Mark’s mind, but after a quick realisation, Mark pushed Yukhei away, catching his own breath as he did so.

His lips throbbing, Mark held onto his own wrist, feeling the pain returning. Of course it had to at such a time. “Keep your flowers,” He whispered hoarsely, “I don’t need them.” Mark proceeded to open the door and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes,,,, the first kiss scene,,,,, sad,,,,,,,, but more to come,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
> [talk to me on twt](https://twitter.com/zhunyeon)  
>  [or give me a prompt and pair and i'll write a small blurb](https://curiouscat.me/haknyeonism)  
>  [or buy me coffee lmao](https://ko-fi.com/haknyeon)


	10. lost minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark's mind is in a daze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 chapters later...

Mark left the school in a hurry without much of a clear plan in his mind. He had grabbed his bags roughly, the faint red mark of where velcro had rubbed up against his skin still visible on his arms. The day was bright and sunny, a sad contrast to that of his mood. He hated being so negative, but what was there to do? It wasn’t as if he could stop being sad. He had simply given up.

As the bus had already left a while ago, Mark decided to take the longer route home, risking another beating from his grandmother and the chance of being late to his next tutoring lesson. He had cancelled so many in the past few weeks, he was scared to lose yet another parent who was willing to pay. Nonetheless, it wasn’t as if he received the money, anyways, so did it truly matter to him? After all, the fewer people he needed to tutor, the more time he would have on his hands. But what kind of thoughts were these? It really did seem like he was going crazy.

Mark walked the familiar sidewalk in which he had observed each day during his first year before realising that the bus was free for students and would save him copious amounts of time. The street that was next to it was usually tranquil at this time of day, adults still working and children already home from a long day at school. The walk home was perhaps too familiar. It brought up old memories of his childhood, the summer before, and the least important of all- Yukhei.

Coincidentally, after thinking about this, Mark looked to his right side to see the flower shop. Mark then realised how long it had been as he could no longer recognise or pick out the flowers that were showcased in the window. He missed talking to Yukhei’s mother.

Now, there were two decisions to be made. One, he could enter the shop and let his mind run free. At this point, it seemed unwise to let himself go, but what else was there to lose? The second option would be to leave and return home, where his grandmother would be waiting for him to finish repairing the old TV that had been in that house for so long. Mark was no technician, which was probably why the old thing kept on breaking after a few months’ use. After this would happen, she would scream at him for hours, complaining on and on about how useless he was that he couldn’t even simply read an instruction manual. It wasn’t that simple.

His hands trembling, Mark firmly grasped the door handle and entered the shop. The accustomed ring of the bell sounded in his ears, a small shudder passing through his body. Cautiously taking another step, Mark called out into the shop, assuming that it was empty as Yukhei was still in the school and it didn’t seem particularly busy that day. Hearing no reply to his plea, Mark began to stroll through the aisles of flowers and other plant arrangements, stopping once in a while to pick up a bouquet and examine its contents. As he continued to walk around the shop, a lone bouquet of roses caught his eye. The flowers were sitting in their own case, in the corner of the room. Curious, Mark walked up to the corner and picked it up, remembering the Valentine’s Day when his father had come home with a similar type of arrangement to present to his mother. It seemed so long ago.

Mark quickly gripped the bouquet and took it out of its case, rushing towards the door with the same momentum he had when he had first been caught stealing flowers. As Mark ran towards the entrance, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something unusual that hadn’t been there before. It seemed to be some kind of security camera. It was set up on the cashier’s desk, hidden between piles of papers and the cash register. Panicking, Mark fled, a million thoughts running through his head. He knew it was a bad choice to enter the shop in the first place. Scratching the back of his head in confusion, he ventured down the street, making his way to where his parents lay. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t missed them after all this time.

When Mark crossed the street and entered the gates, he could feel slight, small drops of rain start to dot and scatter across his face. It wasn’t the most convenient time for rain, to be honest. Wasn’t it bright out just a few minutes ago? Mark didn’t dwell too much on the thought.

Walking down the beaten path, he couldn’t seem to get the thoughts about the camera out of his head, as he stumbled across clumsily and arrived at the spot where his parents were buried. Finally unable to take it anymore, Mark collapsed, the bouquet falling softly on the ground. Mark was now on his knees, the tips of his shoes digging into the soil underneath him. Mark was, in simpler terms, going crazy. It was a bit unusual to him, though, as he lay there, sobbing into his own hands at the foot of his parents’ grave. He wasn’t one to have such mental breakdowns. In fact, had he ever? It seemed unlikely.

With his hands buried in his face, Mark let out another wail, glad that no one was in the graveyard to witness such a horrific meltdown. It was awfully coincidental that almost every time he was in the graveyard, there seemed to be no one around him. This was a good thing, however, as it gave him some time to think. Pounding his fist into the ground, Mark cursed the Earth. “Why would you leave me…” He managed to choke out, directing this comment at the ground more than his parents. “I’m so miserable here.” He said in his native language. The way the words effortlessly left his tongue made him smile, but this was only momentarily. As Mark opened his mouth to speak once again, he felt a slight hand touch his shoulder and rest on it. Quickly, Mark turned around to see who it was, already acutely aware of his surroundings.

It was a bit cliché to see that it was, of course, Yukhei. With such a solemn smile, Yukhei lifted his hand from Mark’s shoulder and offered it out, a kind gesture that Mark now seemed to take for granted. Gulping, Mark took his hand, letting himself get hauled up by the elder and pulled into a large embrace. Yukhei’s body was warm, despite the increasingly cold rain drenching most of his clothes so that it all clung to him like a thorn on clothes. With this, Mark began to cry even more. When was the last time someone had hugged him like this?

There seemed to be no words to be said, as they both sat down underneath the umbrella Yukhei had found in Mark’s bag and continued in silence. Yukhei began to gently rub Mark’s back, hoping that he would calm down soon. Embarrassed at this predicament and eager to get it over with, Mark sobered up almost immediately, straightening his posture and sitting a bit farther away from Yukhei. When the time finally came, the Canadian boy took a long sigh, folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Yukhei. I’m really ashamed. Honestly.” Mark gestured to the flower bouquet that still laid in the same place he had dropped it, most of the flowers sopping in water. “H-how did you find me?”

Slowly, Yukhei pulled out his phone, showcasing an app that broadcasted a supposed live feed of the shop. “I set this up after I met you. I didn’t realise the motion detector even worked until now. I just… I assumed you’d be here, sorry.” He apologised for nothing, bowing his head a bit. Mark noticed that his Korean pronunciation had improved, along with his vocabulary which seemed to have grown since the last time they’d talked. “Do you need help, Mark? I’m serious. I may be pushy and nosey but I just want the best for you, please.” Yukhei reached out to grasp Mark’s hand, pulling him closer. Mark tried to retract his hand but was too tired to fight back and let it happen. He hated the way his heart pounded when he was close to Yukhei.

“I-I…” Mark began to form another generic excuse in his mind, something he had grown accustomed to doing and was now quite good at. But there was something in his heart that nagged at him, told him to just finally let go of all his worries. This could be his only chance.

“I need help, you’re right, Yukhei. Please, just listen to me this once. My parents are dead and I have no real home. My grandmother abuses me and treats me more as a slave than a grandson. I should be in Canada right now but since she’s my only last remaining relative I’m forced to live here. I hate it here. I’m miserable. Each day I contemplate running away and returning back to Canada. Yukhei, please, help me. I want to die.”

Mark began to break into another sob, letting himself lean into Yukhei’s chest and cry into his shoulder. A small whisper escaped Yukhei’s lips, his voice shaking. “Is everything true?” Mark nodded. Of course, it was true.

The rain around them was now drowning out most of the noises that came from Mark, bringing a sense of calm to the area surrounding them. Sighing, Yukhei gave another quick pat on Mark’s back and looked at the bouquet on the ground. What was there to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so tired haha how did i get this out in 24 hours
> 
> edit: its now 12:30 am but yall r so fucking thirsty for lumark on twt lmao is the tag really this dry
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism


	11. the revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark is bruised. mark is wounded. mark is lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I SUCK AT UPDATING
> 
> edit: also writing, apparently

That rainy day when Mark had finally let go of all his worries to Yukhei was now one of the past, another few months having been spent from that time. It was true, the two boys had since become closer, once in a while cracking a joke if they saw each other while walking to another one of their classes or cheering each other on during a class competition, yet there seemed to be a perpetual gap that stopped them from becoming **actual** friends. Did Yukhei see Mark as only trouble and no more? Was it the right thing to tell him of these problems? Mark wasn’t sure. Yukhei hadn’t told anyone so far, so it seemed alright. In fact, the topic wasn’t brought up after that day.

Hearing his name being called out by one of his fellow classmates, Mark cautiously looked up from his book that he was absentmindedly reading. One of his classmates, a girl who Mark suddenly couldn’t remember the Korean name of, was sitting on a desk, gesturing for him to come over. Playfully rolling his eyes, Mark set down his book and walked over to the desk where he discovered most of his classmates gathered around. When Mark made eye contact with the girl who had called him over, a small blush spread across her face before she turned her head to cover up her embarrassment.

“So… Minhyung, have you played this game before? Apparently, it’s from North America, so you must’ve heard of it, right? Here, I’ll show you how to play. It’s pretty simple, actually. It’s also really fun. I’m surprised you haven’t shown us this before. Flip your palms down, I’ll show you.” One of his other classmates who was sitting in the group said, indicating to Mark’s hands. Mark smiled, a bit amused at his classmates’ innocence on the rest of the world outside Asia. It was cute that they thought that he was knowledgeable about so many things in Canada.

Complying, Mark tried to turn his wrist to flip over his hands before a horrifying pain shot through his wrist up his arm. How could he forget? His wrist had never properly healed. Wincing and accidentally cursing out loud, the entire classroom suddenly became quiet, all eyes fixated on his hurt expression. It took a while before someone spoke up, and when they did, it was Yerim, who had just entered the classroom.

“What’s everyone doing here? Why aren’t you guys getting ready for the next class?” She questioned, looking around to finally pinpoint what everyone seemed to be staring at. “Minhyung? Are you alright?” Walking closer to Mark, she delicately laid a hand on his shoulder, leaning down to catch a glimpse of his face. Mark, not wanting to make a scene anymore, nodded, lifting his head up and straightening his back to give the appearance that he was alright and not in pain.

“Yes, I’m sorry everyone. I just sprained my wrist a few days ago, so it hurts a bit. But I promise everything’s alright. I’m so sorry for causing a disturbance.”  With those words, it seemed like the class all took a collective sigh of relief before going back to whatever they were doing before Mark had suddenly cursed. That moment just came to show how much power Mark really did have over his entire grade.

As the bell rang, Mark went back to his seat and put his book into his bag, making sure to carefully bookmark the page he had left off on. Fidgeting with his own fingers, Mark looked to the side of the classroom where windows were placed so that he could see the hallway. Passing by in the hallway, a large figure appeared. Mark frowned. It was Yukhei.

As Yukhei rushed down the hall, the two locked eyes. Mark’s grip on his pen tightened as his heart began to beat faster. Even after months of pining after the older boy, it still seemed like Mark would never get over the feeling of being some kind of lovesick puppy around him. Before Yukhei ran away, Mark swore he could see the boy smirk and mouth something to him. But it was too late to decipher what he had said, as Mark couldn’t tell what he was saying before the boy was already gone.

Raising his hand as if he dared to reach out and touch Yukhei’s lips, Mark’s attention was brought back to the front of the classroom where the teacher was already giving out the lesson plan. He decided that it was probably best if he forgot about Yukhei for now.

**…**

The last class of the day ended without much fanfare. The dreary winter weather seemed to be getting on everyone’s nerves and emotions, as there was no more energetic chatter between the students that could’ve been observed on the first few days of that new school year. Mark quickly walked to his locker in efforts to return home quickly. His grandmother had asked (threatened?) him to do her a favour, so it seemed like he’d have to be on time if he didn’t want to cause any sort of problem for himself.

Surprisingly, when Mark arrived at his locker, Yukhei was leaning against the wall next to it, twirling around a small steel ring in his fingers. Spotting Mark from his peripheral vision, Yukhei’s eyes lit up, getting up from the wall and quickly cornering Mark.

“Hey, Mark! I have a question for you.” Yukhei stated, helping the Canadian boy by taking some of the stuff from his locker out and shoving them into his bag. “Would you like to walk home with me today? If you can’t, that’s fine. I just assumed you’d like to as we don’t really hang out anymore and our homes are both on the same path.”

Cursing his heart for falling for the dumb smile that appeared on Yukhei’s face each time the two talked, Mark swallowed, immediately forgetting about his obligations. Nodding, Mark pretended to think about it, watching as Yukhei pouted in an endearing manner. Finally, he came up with an answer. “Of course, Yukhei. Let me just sort out a few things and then we can leave.”

Once Mark had finally reorganized the mess that Yukhei had made for him, the two left the school building, a flurry of side comments being made by the students around them who had observed their relationship for a long time. Mark paid no attention to those of admiration or disgust, but couldn’t help but let the thoughts of those who saw them as a couple linger in his mind. Did they seem like a couple? Mark didn’t think so. Sure, he wished they were, but they were strictly school friends. It didn’t seem like anything more.

As Mark began to ponder on these thoughts, he fell deeper into his own subconscious, questioning the validity of their relationship. Distracted by his own thoughts, Mark let Yukhei lead him down an alternative path, not even realising that Yukhei had gone the longer route as to avoid the graveyard. If he had realised this, Mark would’ve probably reddened at Yukhei’s consideration for his feelings. Even though the topic was never talked about between the two boys, they always remembered.

Time passed by almost too quickly, with Yukhei rambling on about his mother’s recent painting of sunflowers and how she was this era’s Van Gogh (with an odd pronunciation of the name ‘Van Gogh’) and Mark wistfully making side comments about how he’d compare her more to Picasso than Van Gogh. By the end of their good-natured argument, they had come up with a midway agreement that she was probably her own artist and would create her own image in the future. Stopping when they arrived at the flower shop, Mark waved goodbye to Yukhei, grinning when the boy raised two thumbs up after he had entered the shop and blew a kiss to him.

A feeling of warmth spread throughout Mark’s cheeks, quickly shaking his head to get rid of the feeling. He lingered outside the shop for a while, thinking of what he was to do now. Suddenly, it dawned on him. Checking his watch, Mark’s heart fell. He was twenty minutes late to when his grandmother had requested he be home by.

Soon, thoughts of being hit countless times again by his grandmother clouded his mind, his hands trembling at the thought. Trying to control himself, Mark told himself that he would _not_ have a panic attack right in front of Yukhei’s mother’s shop.

Mark ran back to his home, grateful that the two’s homes were not that far away from each other. Unlocking the door and quietly slipping inside, it seemed that his grandmother had not noticed a thing. Taking a deep sigh of relief, Mark set down his bag onto the hardwood floor, jumping when a loud sound came from the books as they came in contact with the ground. Realising what mistake he had just made, he turned around to see his grandmother’s face in front of him.

Despite his grandmother’s frail appearance, her strength was one that could be compared to that of a young basketball player. It amazed yet frightened Mark how easily she could grasp his neck and throw him against the wall with such swiftness.

Crying out as pain from his neck settled into the rest of his body, Mark’s grandmother seethed with anger.

“You’re a disgrace. How many times must I say this for you to realise? Each week you come home late and disobey my orders. Your parents probably killed themselves because they didn’t want to be with you. I can’t believe I gave birth to such a coward who only produced cowardly offspring. What could I expect from her anyways?” She spat, shoving her cane into Mark’s ribs. The twisted sound of one of his bone’s cracking filled the air, his grandmother even wincing with him.

Seeing that his grandmother was now taking the time to catch her breath, Mark took the opportunity to run, grabbing his bags and heading towards the entrance where the door was cracked open. Mark could still hear his grandmother’s screams and curses before he was struck down by her cane yet again, a throbbing sensation stemming from his left ankle. God, this couldn’t happen again.

With his hand on the doorknob, Mark began to pray. If this was how he died, then so be it. If only he could muster enough strength to open the door. But now? It seemed like there was no more reason to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the cliffhanger fhgjkghhskdgkgldfk please talk to me though
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO!!!! any nct writers here? like talking to other writers? need to vent? come join my nct writers group chat on twitter with my friend, it'll be fun!!! if you're interested, hit me up on twt @zhunyeon  
> look forward to seeing you!


	12. time to let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark loses faith, partially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR 3 WEEKS I REALLY SUCK I KNOW AND EACH DAY I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AND UGH IM JUST SO SORRY TO EVERYONE

But, of course, the main character can’t die yet, can’t he?

With unpredictable strength that even he couldn’t fathom, Mark managed to grasp the door handle, pushing the door open and running out with all the energy he had, glad that the sun was retiring back to its original place and the sky would quickly become dark yet again. He had no clear plan, realising this as he ran down the street, trying his best to wipe away the blood that stained his cheeks and lips and not flinch at the indescribable pain that coursed throughout his body. Where could he go now? His friends in the student council didn’t know of his situation, and Yerim wasn’t close enough to be trusted. He couldn’t think now- no, not when his life was at stake.

So Mark decided to head to his only sanctuary, the graveyard.

It was a funny thing, Mark thought, how whenever he needed help the most, it seemed that no one was around. This was evident as Mark stumbled across the street, sure that his grandmother wouldn’t chase him once he reached the entrance. He hadn’t seen anyone so far, a bit thankful for this. By now, most people would be at home, eating dinner like a normal family would. Was it wrong for him to envy those with a good home? Perhaps it wasn’t. Yet, Mark couldn’t help but feel a bit wrong for doing so. After all, it wasn’t in his power to decide these things- who got to be happy and who didn’t.

Underneath the darkened sky and pale moon that hung in the sky, Mark quickly opened and closed the gates to the graveyard, clutching his chest as it continued to throb. It was a bit troublesome to navigate such a huge plot of land in the dark, but he managed, finally faltering onto the ground in front of his parents’ grave, unable to take the pain anymore.

“I can’t take it anymore. I have to stop being so weak and pathetic, but please, give me one sign? How hard is it for you guys to do such a simple thing for me?” Mark seethed, grasping the edges of the gravestone. “Is it time to let go? Do you think so? I can’t come here anymore. I can’t keep acting like this is some sort of… sanctuary. I just can’t.” Mark said between pained intakes of breath, finally managing to stand up. Still wearing his school uniform that was speckled with blood, he left the graveyard, hauling his bags behind him with difficulty.

With his head aching, Mark finally made his way to the home of the only person he could trust now. It seemed odd, as he had only known Yukhei for a few months, yet he was the only one who truly knew of Mark’s situation.

Mark slammed his bags onto the ground in front of the flower shop, pounding at the door with all the energy he had left, sure that any moment he would fall down to his knees and pass out. His eyesight had become worst, spots of black fading in and out in front of him, something he considered to _not_ be normal. With each time his fist slammed into the wooden door, Mark could feel the impact of his grandmother’s beatings, wincing as he thought about what happened moments before. As another long five minutes passed, Mark began to give up, weakly raising his fist one last time before the door opened unexpectedly, a gush of warm air engulfing Mark as he raised his head, unable to bring himself to stand on his two feet anymore.

“Mark? Are you alright?” Yukhei stood in the doorway, a piece of bread clasped in one of his hands, immediately dropping the item onto the floor and kneeling down to grasp Mark’s arms and pick him up. “My God, Mark, what happened? Your face-“ Yukhei stopped his sentence midway, hauling Mark into the light of his own home and realising how severe the damage was done on the boy’s face. With his arm wrapped around Mark’s waist, Yukhei called out for his mother, trying not to scream as loud as he saw Mark cringe at the loud sound.

Yukhei’s mother travelled down the stairs at a moderate pace, unaware of the events that were about to unfold. Refocusing her attention from the cross-stitch she held in her hands, Yukhei’s mother instantly stopped what she was doing, running towards Mark. Panicking and unable to find the words to say to Mark, Yukhei’s mother began to speak in rapid Cantonese, Mark too tired to try and decipher what she was trying to say. Yukhei became visibly annoyed, sensing that Mark would not be able to hold onto himself any sooner.

“Your entire neck, Mark, it’s bruised. Your clothes too- we need to get help for you.” After a few moments, Yukhei’s mother had successfully calmed herself down. Clasping her own mouth, she began to take off Mark’s school jacket, revealing a simple short sleeved shirt underneath. The white cotton revealed numerous bruises and cuts, some parts on the shirt tattered and bloodied from that night. It must have been a grotesque sight to see, but Mark didn’t seem to care at this point.

Setting the coat aside, Yukhei’s mother began to question Mark, asking questions that Mark couldn’t even find the answer to if he tried.

“Yukhei-“ Mark finally said, taking a deep gasp of breath as the pain that he had blocked out resurfaced back into his body. “I’m so sorry I came here unannounced. I’m so sorry.” He grasped onto the other boy’s hand, his grip tightening with each second that passed. Opening his mouth, Yukhei began to retort. As if something was clouding his own thoughts, Yukhei closed his mouth, unsure of what to even say. Looking at his own mother, the two made eye contact, nodding their heads as if they had agreed on something without any words being said.

“Mark, you need to get some help. We have to take you to the hospital-“

“No,” Mark interrupted, his eyes suddenly wide open. “You can’t. I… I can’t go. It’ll only get worse from there, so please, just don’t.” The thought of actually receiving any help was a novelty to Mark. He had only thought about doing something like that a couple of times in his life, only when it was most dire. In more recent days, he had abandoned such thoughts, not seeing why he should. Plus, the thought of getting his grandmother in trouble worried him. After all, they were still family. He would’ve felt guilty if he was to make her life miserable. If not him, then who?

With another long period of silence, Yukhei’s mother quietly took Mark’s bags, whispering something inaudible to Yukhei. Nodding, the elder carried Mark upstairs, quickly showing him to the bathroom. Mark was thankful, yet couldn’t find the words to say anything. They had just saved his life- why couldn’t he say anything useful?

Turning on the water in the shower, Yukhei managed to cast one last pitiful look at Mark before handing him a towel and closing the door. The loud sound of the overhead fan and the water streaming and crashing down drowned out most of the sounds that came from the rest of the studio, as Mark was sure that Yukhei and his mother were now deep in conversation about what to do with him. Shrugging, Mark stepped into the shower, letting the burning sensation of hot water scorch his skin. It had been a long time since he had felt any numbness close to this. In fact, he could get used to the feeling.

After a short few minutes, Mark turned off the faucet, climbing out of the shower and quickly changing into a new set of clothes that were stored in the towel Yukhei had given him. A bit too big for his liking, Mark was grateful, nonetheless. Stopping before reaching towards the door handle, Mark caught the first reflection of himself he had seen in months in the bathroom mirror, horrified at his own appearance. When had he let himself look like this? With his face and neck bloodied and bruised, where was the respectable young man he had thought he was before? Even if he had removed such abnormalities, the deep eye bags under his eyes were prominent. Why didn’t anyone tell him?

Not wanting to stare at his own reflection any longer, Mark grabbed onto the handle, waiting a bit as he could still here Yukhei and his mother from the other side. Though the fan was still loud, he could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. While Yukhei’s mother spoke almost entirely in Cantonese, Yukhei spoke in Korean. Mark wondered why.

“I’m sorry-“ Yukhei mumbled, his next few words cut off. “I didn’t know what to do. You can’t blame me for that. What would you have done?” Yukhei’s tone became more aggressive with his mother, defending his own actions. “Besides, when you first realised that-“

Mark opened the door, steam from the bathroom quickly protruding from the opening.

“Oh, Mark, I’m glad that you’re still alright. You must be horribly tired. Please, you can sleep in the master bedroom for tonight. I’ll switch with Yukhei.” Yukhei’s mother glanced nervously from Mark to Yukhei, gesturing to the room on the other side of the hall. “Tomorrow morning we’ll talk this over with you, alright? Just get some rest.”

Taking one final glance at Yukhei, Mark quietly walked into the bedroom, gently laying on his side as not to irritate his chest yet again. Before he closed his eyes, Mark spotted Yukhei coming into the room, a small candle held in his hand.

“Mark? Are you still awake?” He whispered, sitting on the bed near Mark’s feet. Mark, tired and unwilling to respond, closed his eyes and finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much to [sarice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gudesanha/pseuds/gudesanha) for being such a big inspiration to me and helping me motivate myself to finish this shit chapter!! im so thankful to her i dont know what i'd do without her
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism  
> (yes im tbz biased hello)


	13. déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark wakes up and yukhei is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres foreshadowing, but im sure you know what happens :)

Mark woke up surprisingly after a few hours of sleep, light seeping through the window blinds and shining onto his face. Raising a hand to cover the light that shone on his eyes, he groaned as the pain from last night began to wade through his body, reminding him that he was still injured and possibly in a worse condition than before. Tilting his head to look at his chest, Mark finally noticed that his shirt was gone, replaced with multiple ice packs and frozen bags of vegetables that had since become room temperature. Confused, he turned his head, surprised to see Yukhei’s face peacefully sleeping right next to Mark. In his hands were more ice packs, clutching them close to his chest as a small pout was plastered onto his face.

Mark’s cheeks burned as he realised what Yukhei was probably doing. Having been the only student who actually paid attention in health class, he knew Yukhei had probably been trying to stop swelling with cold items, surprised that Yukhei could even harbour such knowledge. Mark was embarrassed, however, that Yukhei would have to do such work for him instead. He felt ashamed. Never had anyone done something for him, no matter how trivial or important it was.

Craning his head to look around the room, Mark finally gave up on trying to find his shirt. Using all the strength he had left, he attempted to sit up, only finding that the sudden movements put him in more pain as he groaned, quickly sinking back into the bed.

The creak of the bed and the noise that escaped Mark’s mouth suddenly awoke Yukhei, his eyes fluttering open as he made eye contact with Mark, whose appearance paled in contrast to that of the elder’s healthy, energetic one. As the two stared at each other for a second, Mark could feel his stomach lurch. God, he loved Yukhei. How more painfully obvious could it be?

Turning his head away, Mark let out another groan, quickly covering his chest with his arms as if that would take away some amount of the excruciating pain that coursed through his veins. With lightning speed, Yukhei was now on Mark’s side of the bed, gently running a hand through the boy’s hair.

“Oh, Mark, I’m so sorry. I didn’t wake you up, did I? I’m such an idiot. I totally fell asleep when I promised my mom to keep an eye on your status the entire night. I’m so, so sorry-“ Yukhei began, casting his gaze aside. It felt odd to be taken care of after so long, Mark thought, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the sudden attention on him. “I, uh, I’m not sure what to say, Mark. I’m just sorry.” Yukhei stopped, quietly removing a few of the ice packs on Mark’s chest.

As Yukhei continued to check on Mark’s health, the Canadian boy couldn’t help but notice a ring on the other’s left index finger, the same one that he had been holding days before. Desperate for a change in topic as the awkward silence seemed to be growing more and more by the minute, Mark perked up at the chance to ask Yukhei something. “What’s the ring for? I think I saw you with it yesterday? I’m not sure.” Mark opened his mouth to say something more, thinking of a way to forgive Yukhei yet reassure him that there was absolutely nothing to apologise for. Mark just couldn’t find the words.

“Oh! This…?” Yukhei stopped in his tracks, lifting up his hand to inspect the ring. Slowly, his expression began to change, his exact emotion indecipherable. Yukhei’s face began to flush as he took the ring off, handing it to Mark to inspect. “It’s… It’s uh, a gift. For you. I meant to give it to you a few days ago. It slipped from my mind. You really don’t need to take it though, I’d understand if you’d want to throw it into the trash or something. I’d understand, really.” Shaking his head, Yukhei walked to another corner of the room, reaching down to pick up a few items off the floor. When Yukhei returned, in his hands were Mark’s shirt and school uniform, probably thrown onto the floor in the dead of night as Yukhei struggled to stop the swelling of Mark’s chest.

Mark took the ring curiously, getting embarrassed for the umpteenth time when Yukhei began to explain why he had it in the first place. Yet, Mark couldn’t believe this reason. Why would Yukhei give him the ring? Oddly, Mark felt as if this situation had happened before. Déjà vu, perhaps? The boy swore that he had seen the ring before. Perhaps he had, perhaps he hadn’t. “Thank you, Yukhei.” Mark could only whisper this, his voice a bit hoarse as he choked up. Why was he suddenly getting emotional? He was ashamed that his love for Yukhei had grown to such heights.

Switching his attention the clothing that Yukhei had placed back onto the bed, Mark spotted the school uniform with a sense of panic and disgust. Today was a school day, wasn’t it? Mark’s hands began to shake, his mind frantically searching for an answer. Was he late for school? Had no one told the school officials he wouldn’t be at school? What time was it anyways? Would his school record be tarnished? He hadn’t been late for the past five years. He didn’t want to break this streak now, especially for such a **stupid** reason.

Yukhei turned around to smile at Mark, his grin quickly fading away when he saw the state of Mark’s fear. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” Yukhei dismissed the thoughts as if he knew what Mark was going to say. “My mother already wrote us both notes and is probably going to school to drop them off. She dug through your backpack a bit to find something with your grandmother’s signature on it though, so I’m sorry if you wanted to keep a neat backpack. She’s an artist, so I guess her copying skills are pretty good.” Yukhei’s face beamed with pride as he talked about his mother, Mark actually laughing for the first time in a while at the sight of him like this. Yukhei laughed along with this, just happy to see that Mark was finally smiling for once.

After the two had stopped giggling, another long silence fell across the room, the two boys laying on opposite sides of the bed, neither one of them daring to move or look at the other. Yukhei decided it was only fair if he apologised again. There were plenty of things on his mind that he wanted to get off. He felt horrible.

“Mark, I know you probably feel like I don’t need to apologise, but I’m going to do it again. I’m truly sorry for not doing anything when you told me about your life- literally entrusted me with your information. I’m such an idiot for not telling anyone, but I don’t know what I could have done. Please, can you just say you forgive me? I thought about you for so long. I care about you.” He whispered the last sentence, looking another way as he was too humiliated to look directly at Mark while he stated the sudden declaration.

Mark couldn’t take it anymore. Hearing these words, his eyes began to water, feeling the steady track of tears trail down his face and onto the bed sheets below. “Yukhei, I- I… I forgive you.” And that was all that Mark could say. There was more that he wanted, **_needed_** , to say to him, yet, as he laid on that bed in the studio room above the flower shop, there was nothing more that came out. Finally, Yukhei sighed, finally gathering enough courage to focus his attention yet again on Mark. As if the two were connected by a sort of magnetic force, they locked hands, the warm comfort of being in the trust of another unfamiliar to the two of them.

Sitting on the bed close to Mark, Yukhei lowered his head over Mark’s, closing his eyes as the two’s lips met, finally sharing their first formal kiss. Of course, this wasn’t the ideal situation, but when would they ever have the chance to do this again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA TORTURE
> 
> anyways, the final chapter is soon!! im not sure when it'll be, but we're coming to a close. i haven't even decided on if i want this to be a good ending or bad ending, so i'll actually be holding a google form LMAO  
> https://goo.gl/forms/k6lkhZ8QHKcuzxMl2  
> please take it, as i'm literally going to be writing the one that is the majority consensus
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism


	14. recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! i updated moderately fast!

It didn’t take long for the school to realise that something seemed suspicious about Mark missing a week of school, having never missed school before that week and always being on time- if not- earlier than when the school usually opened its doors. Yukhei had overheard word of the school principal wanting to send a letter to Mark’s grandmother, Yukhei quickly intercepting and offering to take the letter to him as he “knew that Mark’s grandmother was quite fragile and he and Mark were good friends”. In reality, Mark had been resting in the studio apartment for a while now, one of Yukhei’s mother’s friends tending to his injuries without any questions asked.

That day, Yukhei returned home to the soft sound of white noise coming from the master bedroom, not surprised when he opened the door to see Mark lying on the bed, a pencil in one of his hands, while a textbook was firmly grasped with his other. The television in front of the bed was on, yet the channel was void, being turned onto one that Yukhei’s family didn’t pay for. Setting down his bags, Yukhei’s eyes travelled back to Mark’s hand, smiling to himself when he saw the ring still on his index finger.

Life had been like this for the past few days, the same process of Mark turning on _anything_ in the apartment while he worked on schoolwork, not taking a break until Yukhei had to plead with him to stop for the sake of his own health. When asked why background noise was so important to him, Mark had only sighed, painfully admitting that he was used to having the noise from his grandmother’s own television set in the background while he usually worked at home. Yukhei felt pity- but God, what could he even do? Being in such a situation, he felt idiotic, stupid, for not being able to do anything for Mark.

Yukhei laid down on the bed next to Mark, scooting a bit closer to take a quick look at the textbook he was intently marking up. Squinting at the line of squished Korean characters, Yukhei made a disgusted expression, sticking his tongue out and grimacing.

“ _Ngok sam_ ,” Yukhei muttered, rolling away from Mark who finally snapped out of his supposed trance and looked at him quizzically. “Disgusting. I hate math.”

Mark chuckled, finally able to bear the pain that came with such small actions that he used to take for granted. “I think it’s pretty fun. It’s satisfying if you solve a really large problem and the answer is a whole number, too. You have such a negative mindset on these things.” Mark set his textbook down, closing his eyes and releasing a small sigh. “Any word from the school yet? I’m sure the student council is also wondering where I am too. Fuck, I really haven’t texted them all in so long. Do you think Donghyuck remembered to take out the trash? I really hope he did. The entire office smelled so bad the last time I was there…” Mark trailed off, frowning as he thought of Donghyuck.

“Yeah, the principal was about to send a notice to your grandmother. I’m afraid you’ll probably have to go back to school.” Yukhei got out as quickly as possible, feeling as if he softened the blow, the situation would still be uncomfortable for the both of them.

For a while, the two of them didn’t speak. Mark’s hands trembled for a bit, dreading the day he’d have to enter that building again and face the hoard of questions that were expected to follow him by his friends, classmates, and teachers. Truth be told, he didn’t miss any of it. Sure, there was a certain addiction to excelling in his classes and being one of the top students, but other than that, school seemed meaningless at that point in time.

“It’s fine. I’ll go. Tomorrow, even. I’m sure I’ve had enough time to heal. I’ll go.” The younger boy’s hands finally stopped shaking, Mark threatening his own conscious to stop such an embarrassing act or be subjected to withholding his own basic needs, such as water or food, from himself.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Yukhei grabbed a hold of one of Mark’s hands. “Are you sure? It’s really been three days, I’m not sure if that’s enough time.” Seeing how there was no response from the other, Yukhei shrugged. “I won’t stop you. I just care about you, that’s it.” Mark nodded, not sure of what to say next. Was he really this incompetent with emotions? It seemed so.

**…**

Mark arrived at school much earlier than when he usually did, some of the teachers still in the front desk area checking in to start the day. A few were surprised to see Mark, kindly asking him if he felt any better and if he had finished all the schoolwork that was given to him, courtesy of Yerim, who had cautiously handed the papers to Yukhei. Seeing that he was in somewhat cheerful spirits, the teachers brushed Mark off soon later, allowing the young boy to enter his classroom and set his things down before entering the student council office. As it was such a rare occurrence for anyone to be lounging in the office room, Mark expected the room to be empty. Perhaps he shouldn’t have thought so.

The evidence that people were inside the room was clear from the start, numerous voices and sounds of items being thrown around the room already evident from the hallway that led to the room’s door. Opening the door with the key around his neck like he usually did in the morning, Mark was confused when the door locked instead of opened. Shrugging, he unlocked the door, entering the room to find the entire student council standing in the middle of the room, Jeno hauling his chair above his head, standing in a position that suggested he was about to throw the entire piece of furniture into Chenle’s face.

“Mark-“ Jeno shouted, immediately raising a hand to point at Mark but ultimately failing as he lost grip of the chair, the item falling to the ground with a huge crash that made everyone in the room cringe with repulsion. “Where the hell have you been? You didn’t tell anyone of us anything, you have a lot of explaining to do, you know? We’ve been worried sick!”

And suddenly every member of the student council was huddled around Mark, who had fallen to the ground with such sheer overwhelming of emotions that it made it impossible to ignore the sudden pain that shot throughout his entire body. “Mark, are you alright? Are you still sick? My God, please don’t tell me your grandmother made you come to school while you were still sick- I’ll fight someone, just please tell us, are you alright?” Mark could make out the distinct tone of Donghyuck’s voice, mixed with a few concerned murmurs that came from Renjun and Jaemin. With such concern that he had never heard come from his friends, Mark began to break down- not exactly crying, but in a state that seemed impossible to recover from. Why was he such a fucking weak person?

“I’m alright.” Mark could only say these two words once he had finally calmed down, taking the time to drink a few sips of water from Jisung’s water bottle and give a smile of thanks to Chenle when he handed Mark a small ice pack that he promptly placed on his chest. Mark was touched. With the events that had occurred in the few weeks that had passed, he hadn’t realised how thankful he was for such small things, such as having friends who cared so much about him. He had never felt thankful for them. He was selfish in every single way to not realise how much they did for him, no matter how big or small. Though it was sometimes hard to tell, Mark should’ve been able to see these actions in the first place.

It took thirty more minutes for Mark to finally get a grasp of his own actions, standing up abruptly from Renjun’s chair (his was still lying on the floor, one of the wheels rolling away after the impact of the fall had knocked one of them off) and telling his fellow student council members that he was going to class. Besides, classes did start soon. Mark figured it was best if he escaped the room that now, he knew, would bring worse memories than ever before.

Everyone parted ways, Renjun sticking behind to follow Mark to his classes before leaving with a swift kiss on the cheek, like he always did, saying goodbye when Mark had finally sat down in his classroom seat.

“Lee Minhyung! I’m so glad to see you! As long as you’re not sick anymore, that’s great! The whole classroom has been buzzing about what illness you had. Tell me, what was it? I placed a bet of a couple thousand won on this so just say it was the flu.” Yerim smiled at Mark, welcoming him with a big hug that couldn’t mask the pain that Mark felt when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribcage. “Just kidding,” She laughed once she saw the confused look in Mark’s eyes. “But I’m not kidding about the fact that some other kids have been betting on that. It’s odd.”

Before Mark had the chance to reply and a few of his other classmates noticed he was finally back after his hiatus, the bell rang, students in every direction scrambling to make their way back to their own designated seats. Mark strolled casually to his own seat, picking up the pencil that laid on his desk and biting down into the wood material. He wasn’t one to do such a thing, yet at that time, he needed something to fidget with. Remembering the ring that Yukhei had gifted, Mark switched to playing with the small ring, still jumbled on why he felt a sense of déjà vu whenever he touched the object.

When the teacher entered the classroom, he cleared his throat, staring at a stack of papers that were placed in his hands. Mark thought nothing much of this, used to the morning announcements that each teacher was instructed to tell the classroom when the speakers wouldn’t seem to work.

“Lee Minhyung? The office needs to see you right now. There’s a last-minute notice that says…” The teacher squinted at the paper. “Your grandmother wants to see you. You should leave now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the poll is unofficially closed, but im gonna leave it open until i actually start writing the final WHICH IS THE NEXT CHAPTER BY THE WAY JUST SAYING
> 
> im gonna have an epilogue though!!
> 
> rn, the good ending is winning- if theres enough request for the bad ending ill probably write it! :D
> 
> EDIT: OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO PUT CANTONESE TRANSLATIONS  
> Ngok sam = 恶心 = Disgusting
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism


	15. the real end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the real end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! it's been 3 months since i've started writing this. there are so many things i want to say, but i have so little time. i'd like to thank my friends maya, sarice, nikki, abi, ahn, mars, nina, nova, and many more for helping me stay positive and eventually finishing this! i hope you enjoy this ending as much as i did <3

“No. I won’t.” Mark could feel every single person in the room staring at him, spotting from the corner of his eye, Yerim, who seemed to be mouthing confused messages to him. Mark felt trapped. There was no way out from this situation- he was literally trapped inside the school.

His teacher stared at him sardonically, for Mark had never been one to deny a teacher’s orders. In fact, was this perhaps the first time? All his classmates’ mouths hung wide open. All had been anticipating this day since Mark had come back to school, never really the same, but hadn’t expected it to be today. Especially at the thought of disobeying their homeroom teacher, someone who Mark always respected. A few small snickers came from the back of the classroom, a group of teenage girls who thought that the whole situation was somewhat funny, quickly shut up by the glares from Yerim who hissed an unintelligible curse to the girls who kept laughing when she stared back.

“What do you mean, no? Minhyung, I’ve never had to tell you twice before. Go now before I’m forced to write an incident report.” The teacher began to become a bit impatient, tapping his foot peevishly while pointing to the door next to Mark that led out into the hallway. Still sitting in his chair with his head held up high, Mark maintained his own position, shaking his head. At times like this, while under great pressure, Mark became more aware of the acute details that surrounded him. The wood that covered his desk was slowly peeling off at the corners, maybe from years of use and abuse. The pen in his pencil case that had been with him since he was a child was slowly losing form, the cap dented and almost small enough to not fit onto the pen tip anymore.

“Minhyung, I will not ask you again. If you don’t follow my orders I will be forced to take action. Don’t you dare.” The teacher lifted up the ruler that was lying on the desk, throwing it across the classroom until it hit the back of the wall, coming to a stop as it hit the ground with a dull thud. Mark flinched at this, not realising that his teacher was starting to get irritated to the point of _actually_ threatening him. Beginning to stand up from his seat, a few gasps from his classmates could be heard as they echoed through the classroom. Mark stood up, his chair pushed out from behind him. So there he stood, not planning on leaving, however.

This time his teacher’s voice raised extreme levels. Mark was sure that anyone who walked outside could hear it. And as if on cue, Mark looked outside the window, spotting Yukhei who had become accustomed to walking late to class just to catch a glimpse of Mark during the morning classes. As if in a trance, Mark tuned out his teacher’s words, walking towards the back door to exit the classroom. Yukhei, however, was quicker, opening the door and walking right into Mark who had begun to reach for the doorknob.

“Mark, don’t go. Please, I don’t want you to get hurt.” Yukhei whispered, half of his messages muddled by the chaotic screams that escaped the teacher’s mouth. Mark opened his own mouth to whisper something back, but couldn’t find the words to do so. He was tongue-tied. The whole classroom was engrossed in the drama unfolding, watching as the teacher stormed angrily to separate the couple.

“Huang Xuxi, what the hell are you doing in my classroom? Get out of here before I have to write you up too. And you, Minhyung, need to leave now.” He shoved Mark out the door with Yukhei, slamming the door in their faces. With thoughts of panic and uncertainty clouding his mind, Mark turned towards the hallway that led towards the entrance of the school. Yukhei reached out to grab Mark’s hand, failing to do so as Mark had already left and the whole classroom still stared at- judged, Yukhei.

**…**

The car ride was silent. Mark had greeted his grandmother with undertones of hate and resentment yet still held the same smile that had allowed him to cheat his way through the student council elections. That, however, was a moment of the past. Now, Mark was more occupied with finding a way to escape his inevitable fate, something he had already begun to accept as soon as he heard word of his grandmother requesting to see him. Yes, he knew for a fact that he was going to die.

The more obvious option was to unlock the car door, but ever since a small temper tantrum by his grandmother a few months back, the car door locks had since been broken, too short to move up and subsequently unlock the doors. Mark blamed his own foolishness for causing such a thing to happen, but he doubted there would’ve been anything to prevent it. In the end, such a thing would’ve happened whether or not he liked it or not. It was just his grandmother’s nature.

The two arrived at the rundown townhouse building fairly quickly, no words exchanged between the pair. Odd enough, a calming sense of relief fell over Mark’s senses. His muscles relaxed, no longer tensed, his fist unclenched and now lay dangling at his side. He entered the building swiftly, crinkling his face as the musty smell from the house entered through his nose. It had been quite some time since he had since been in the home, it appeared he had forgotten the smell that he was once so used to.

And then, everything was not fine.

Grabbing the knife that lay on the kitchen table still soaked in the remains of fruits and half cut vegetables, Mark’s grandmother held it firmly, not directly pointing it at Mark yet still maintaining eye contact with him as he clamoured towards the front of the home despite the door being locked. She slowly made her way towards him, her leg crippled, making the venture harder than it should have been. Of course, the door was right there, and Mark could have easily run away, but yet, there was something Mark was missing.

“You little shit, where the hell did you go to this entire week? Actually- never mind, I don’t even want to know. You’ve probably been playing around town, haven’t you, you little fucking bitch? Whatever, I’m going to do what I should’ve done to your mother years ago. You don’t even deserve to die.” And with the knife, she charged at Mark as fast she could, turning on her heels as Mark ran for the basement door, closing it behind him as his mind screamed in panic.

This was the end. It was evident enough to him.

As his grandmother let out a gruesome scream, Mark collected his things that still lay scattered in the basement, wasting no time in picking up the textbook that held the flowers that Yukhei had given to him, the broken phone, and the piece of his parents’ gravestone that had chipped off on the day he had moved to Korea. If he was going to die, at least he would have these items near him.

The door continued to bang as Mark had been at least smart enough to lock it behind himself, a continuous pattern of thumps and groans until another sound caught the attention of his mind. The sound of the front door slamming open filled his ears, frantic screams and shouts protruding through the crack at the foot of the door.

The thumps had stopped. There was more screaming. Gunshots. And then, everything was silent.

Mark stood still in the darkness of the basement for over ten minutes when the door was quickly kicked down, the abused wooden object falling down the stairs ever-so gracefully until it hit the back wall. At the top of the stairs was a dark silhouette, Mark’s eyes squinting so he could fully make out the details of the man above. Then, he knew.

“Yukhei-“ Mark could only choke out, feeling his entire heart soar, his hands shaking as all the items in his hands dropped to the floor. Running down the stairs, Yukhei grabbed onto Mark and welcomed him into an embrace, not minding that now dozens of policemen and authorities were now barraging into the basement, searching for evidence and physical signs of abuse.

“You’re alright. It’s alright.” Yukhei murmured, placing a small kiss on Mark’s cheek.

And for once, Mark believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do think this ending seems very rushed, and i am terribly TERRIBLY sorry for that  
> i wanted to do this very nicely, but i seem to have such paranoia while writing this chapter
> 
> i will be doing an epilogue and bad ending + epilogue soon, so please stick around for that!
> 
> again, thank you so, SO much for staying till the end. your support to me really helps me to write more and allows me to feel happy during such dark times <3
> 
> twt: zhunyeon  
> cc: haknyeonism
> 
> thank you, so much.

**Author's Note:**

> pukgai is a curse in cantonese and wow am i used to hearing my classmates say this at me
> 
> okay so i actually am going to try and FINISH THIS FIC this time (stares at my fics,,,,, that are chaptered,,,, yikez) so please stick around!!! im planning a lot for this so uHhhHhHhh patience is appreciated along with COMMENTS because god knows how much that cheers up writers and motivates them yet no one ever does comment,,,,,,,,,,,
> 
> hmu on twitter @zhunyeon !


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